Good Morning Girls!  You know, for the most part I think I am doing pretty good job with the life God has blessed me with.  I believe I work very hard to be a good wife, mom, daughter, sister, and friend.  There is always room for improvement and growth of course, but I'd like to think that I am doing the best I can. 

Of course, the enemy will tell me every day that I am not doing a good job.  He will point out the fact that my living room has garage sale stuff all over it and my floor hasn't been vacuumed in two weeks.  He will point out the fact that I have not cooked dinner for Tom in a week and have eaten more cinnamon goldfish in the last two weeks than any person should have in a lifetime!  He points out the struggles my kids face, and whispers where I went wrong in their early parenting that has lead to these problems.  He is relentless.

I have learned a thing or two over the years.  One thing being that the enemy wants us Girls to roll over and play dead.  He wants us so exhausted and frustrated that we no longer try.  He wants us to surrender.  He would love nothing more than to see us wave our white flag in surrender and defeat (but seriously, how's that going to happen when I am so behind in laundry and the chance of even finding a white surrender flag would in itself be a miracle!).

He exhausts us by pointing out all of the "things" in our life, mostly within the four walls of our home, that are wrong.  He keeps us so busy and distracted trying to be Martha Stewart that we miss out on being Mary (lame Bible humor, but it made me laugh).  Ask any of my close friends, they will tell you that I have always prided (is that a word?) myself for having a clean house.  Then they would most likely smile and say "But come to think of it, it's been more messy than usual the last year".

Is it a sign that I am giving up?  Am I less disciplined?  Do I care so little about anything any more?  The enemy tells me that.  but I know the truth.  I know I am trying to move over to the Mary side of life.  I am trying to get my priorities in order.  First Jesus, then family, then "stuff".   Have you ever cleaned out a closet, or a big space?  You know how in order for it to get clean and organized, it first goes through the stage where it looks like a tornado went through it?  That's kind of where my life is right now.  I know I am on my way to a clean, organized, life.  A life where my priorities are in order.  I believe that I can and will have it all: time with the Lord, time with my family, AND a clean and organized house (and body for that matter).  It's just that I am currently in the tornado stage of it all!

There are mornings when I look around and feel a little overwhelmed.  i want to run back to my old routine.  My old way of doing things.  A way that had my house clean clean, and my workout in by 9am each day.  But I don't.  I am seeking the Lord first.  i am letting the tornado run through my life and letting Him put things back in order, in EVERY area of my life.  My way of doing things may have produced results, but at the end of each day, I was exhausted.  I believe the Lord has a better way.  A way that will give me the desires of my heart, and bring no sorrow or exhaustion with it!  Until then, let the wind blow!!!!!!!!!

Psalm 127:1-2  Unless the Lord builds a house, the work of the builders is wasted.  It is useless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night, anxiously working for food to eat, for God gives rest to his loved ones

Love, peace, and tornadoes that blow you into the Mary way of life,
Jen

Good Morning Girls!  When I was a kid we often went to my grandma's house on Sunday afternoon.  She always cooked the same meal: fried chicken, cole slaw, mashed potatoes, garden green beans, homemade pickles, fruit jello, corn caserol, dinner rolls, and orange kool-aid.  She always served the same meal because we all loved this meal.  I mean LOVED this meal.  We all sounded like Bill Murray in "What about Bob?"..... yummmmm.....mmmmmm.......ohhhhh.....yummmmmmm....oh how we loved this meal!

There wasn't much talking during dinner, except for one phrase:  "More Please!"  When it came to grandma's dinner, everyone had second's, even thirds.  Whenever someone said those two little words, "More Please!", my grandma's face would light up.  She loved nothing more than honoring the request of "More Please!"  She delighted in giving us more!  And there was always more.  She never ran out.

Grandma loved to give us more because she loved to see us full and happy!  She loved that we loved her meal sooooo much that we would keep coming back for more.....even past our level of comfort on occassion!  She loved knowing that she had something that made us feel good.  That made us feel loved.  That sent us home counting down the days til we would have "More Please!".  

I hadn't thought about Sunday's at grandma's for a long time.  But something about this verse I read yesterday had me thinking "More Please" all day long.  It says in 1 Peter 1:2 May God give you more and more grace and peace.  You see, it wouldn't say more and more grace and peace  if there was not more and more grace and peace to give!  It wouldn't say more and more if we each only recieved one serving of grace and peace.  If that were the case it would read may God give you your one serving of grace and peace.  

Praise the Lord!  God's grace and peace is not a one time deal.  You can receive second's, third's, fourth's, an infinite number of servings of grace and peace.  There is always more!  You simply need to say those two little words "More Please"!  And just like grandma, God's face lights up at the fact that we know that he has exactly what we need to be full and happy!  He delights in piling it up on our plates!  He loves sending us on our way counting down the days til we can say "More Please!"  the best part is.....we don't have to wait!  We can have "More Please" all day every day!

If your plate is empty, lift it to the Lord and say "More Please"......I believe He will pile it on so big it will spill over!......and there may be enough for you to share with those around you!

1 Peter 1:2  May God give you more and more grace and peace

Love, thanks, and more grace and peace to you all-
Jen




 

Good Morning Girls!  So once again I am having a garage sale.   Two years ago I had my first one and I vowed I would "never" do it again.  Funny how "never" seems to happen a lot in my life!

So I have spent the last couple of weeks going through my house and deciding what things I am sick of.  What things I would rather have $1 for than ever see again....regardless of how much they cost me in the first place.  It's funny how something I once so desperately wanted suddenly becomes something I could care less about.  What were once "prized possessions" are now insignificant items I can easily live without......as long as you give me $.50 that is......

Did you know that you are God's prized possession?  You are!  My Bible tells me so!  It says in James 1:18 And we, out of all creation, became his prized possession!!!!!!  How awesome is that!  What is even more awesome is the fact that there are no garage sales in heaven!  Once a prized possession, always a prized possession!  No matter what mistakes you make.....No matter how many times you "screw up"......Regardless of the fact that there are times when you feel like an old knick-knack on the fireplace mantle, collecting dust and wasting space......GOD WILL NEVER PUT A $.50 STICKER ON YOU!!!!!!

It's true.  Once you become one of God's prized possessions, you will always be one of his prized possessions.  There is nothing you can do to change that!  God knew we would have days where we found this truth difficult to believe.  So he included this reminder....He told us He never changes.  Unlike when I say "never", God actually means never.  Never as is not one day ever in your entire existence are you anything but God's prized possession! 

Let todays verses sink into your heart so next time you feel like you deserve a sticker on your forehead you will be reminded of how much you are loved!

james 1:17-18  Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens.  He never changes or casts a shifting shadow.  He chose to give birth to us by giving us his true word.  And we, out of all creation, became his prized possessions

Love, peace, and a sticker free day to you all-
Jen

Good Morning Girls!  A couple of days ago I shared with you all how I had fallen in love with my Bible again.  I encouraged you all to spend some time in the Word each day getting to know the Lord on a personal level.

This morning as I sat down to write, I intended to share with you all an example of one of my Bible times that I was laughing with the Lord.  I wanted you to see that Bible time is NOT this serious, "let's find out what we are doing wrong and need to improve on" time.  It is not a time of correction (though it can be).  It is not a time to confess all of your sins (unless you feel the urge to).  It is not a time for you to look and see what areas you are not "measuring up" in. 

Jen, if it is not any of those things than what is it?

Glad you asked!  Your time in the Word is your time to spend with Jesus.  It is, in it's purest form, like sitting down with your best friend and having a heart to heart conversation.  It is a time to ask questions.  It is a time to laugh.  A time to cry.  A time to vent.  A time to praise.  A time to thank.  A time to seek wisdom and advice.  It is whatever you need on that particular day.

Think of your best friend.  Think of some of the times you have called her, needing to share something with her.  Sometimes it was something funny the kids did.  Or perhaps you were really angry about something that happened at work.  Maybe you needed marital advice.  Or encouragement on your new diet.  Or even the times when you knew your friend was going to give you advice that you didn't want to hear, but you knew she was right.....and she was giving it to you because she loves you and wants the best for you.  And then there are the times you just sit on the deck, side by side, not speaking a word.....just enjoying the time together.

I have had all of these "girlfriend" moments with my girlfriends....AND with the Lord in my Bible time!  God created us.  He knows how we relate to each other.  He doesn't expect us to learn a new form of communication for our Bible time!  He doesn't want us on the phone with our friends laughing and having a good time and then hang up saying in a most serious manner, "I have to go and turn on the heavy organ music.....it's time to go read my Bible".  No!  He wants us to be as excited to sit with Him as we are to sit with our friends. 

I'm telling you Girls, your Bible time does not have to be dry.  God is fun!  If you haven't experienced the fun side of the Lord in awhile, and are maybe even doubting that He has one, ask him to reveal it to you.  Sit down with your Bible today and say "Lord, Jen says you are fun.  Jen says I can laugh with you.  Please show me how."  Just a heads up....you may not even end up opening your Bible.  You may just have a "friend" moment where you sit and relax and share some fun memories.  Try not to determine ahead of time what your Bible time should look like.  Do you pre plan what your girlfriend coffee talks are going to look like?  Of course not.  You simply go with the expectation that you are going to have fun while you catch up with your friend.  Approach your time with the Lord the same way......after all, your experiences in life are often a result of your expectations (deep, I know......I have had 2 cups of coffee)

Psalm 100:1 On your feet now-applaud God!  Bring a gift of laughter, sing yourselves into his presence!

Love, thanks, and fun with the Lord to you all,
Jen

Good Morning Girls!  So yesterday I went on a bit of a preach about reading your Bible.  I know that some of you took it as one more thing on your Christian to do list, despite my repeated attempts to assure you it was not a rule to be followed.  Or an obligation to fulfill.  Or worse yet, a requirement in order to receive Gods grace, favor, and blessings!

I know this, because I was once that person.  That person who, whenever I heard how important it is to read your Bible, took it as "If you do not read your Bible, God will withhold something from you."  As a baby, if Charley got sick I would think things like "How could she get sick, I read my Bible!"  or "If only I had read my Bible yesterday, I bet she wouldn't have gotten sick.  God would have protected her better." 

This thought process carried over into all areas.  "If I would have gone to church yesterday, I would not have gotten this speeding ticket."  "I won the raffle because I prayed everyday this week."  Everything good and bad in my life was a direct effect of something right or wrong I did in my Christian walk.  I believed God loved me, however, all the extra "perks" were reserved for those who followed all the "rules".
did
When I gave my life to the Lord, my life was in extreme distress.  I am talking bottom of the pit distress.  I wanted, and needed all the "perks" I could get, and I did not mind jumping through hoops to get them.  Due to my career in sales, I have always been reward driven.  To serve a God that worked on the reward system made perfect sense to me!  I didn't question it at all.  It was a system I worked well under.......until it failed me that is.

Despite my repeated attempts to do everything "right", I soon realized that things still went "wrong".  Worse yet, I noticed that there were people who weren't following any of the "rules", and they were getting blessed, and blessed, and more blessed!  "How come God did that....I know she still drinks!"  "Why does she have that......she just said she hasn't read her Bible in years!"  Something was very wrong here.  What was I misunderstanding?

At first I decided to work a little harder.  Take on a little more.  Surely I would get it all figured out.  I worked my way up the leadership ladder, surely proving that I was one step closer to God each time I took on a new role.  Again, it made sense to me.....after all, that's how the world works.  I am always up for a challenge.  Getting in, and staying in, Gods favor, was simply a challenge.......an exhausting one at that!

I am learning more and more, that many Christians live their life this way.  Though they won't always admit it, or worse yet, like me, they don't even realize it, they live a "deserve" or "don't deserve" life based on all their "rights" and "wrongs".  They are worn out, beat up, and exhausted.  They are still trying to figure out what "more" they have to do.

I had no idea that this was not the way the Lord loves his children!  Who was I to question it?  Even on the occasions when I felt like things weren't fair I didn't dare ask anyone.  I was afraid that having these doubts meant I didn't have faith.  I kept these thoughts to myself.  After all, my life before becoming a Christian was truly a living hell.  My worst, most unfair day as a Christian was still better than my previous life.  Who was I to complain?

It really has only been the last couple of years that I feel like I am sorting through it all.  Though I Praise the Lord for every day of my born again life, I am most thankful for the days in which I knew as I knew that I am the apple of His eye!  For those are the best days a Girl could hope for!

If you are having trouble believing that you are the apple of God's eye, please reply to me, so that I may pray for, and encourage you.  It's okay to admit if you are not feeling loved.  It's okay to admit if you think the Lord is a stickler for the rules. It is okay to admit you have doubts.  It does not mean you do not love the Lord, or have enough faith.  It simply means you are human.  It simply means you may have mis read or been taught a version of the Lord that is not pure,  true, and just.  It simply means the enemy of our faith has gotten hold of Gospel and twisted it inside and out. 

Don't live another day wondering if God really loves you.  Here, take this full proof test to determine whether or not He loves you.  Put your hand to your mouth.  Breath out.  If you feel air on your hand, that means He loves you!  It's as simple as that.  I don't care what you did last week, last night, or this morning.  "Good" or "bad".  "Right" or "wrong".  He loves you!  Period.  End of discussion.

Romans 8:38-39  And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love.  Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries for tomorrow-not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's love.  No power in the sky above or in the earth below-indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Love, thanks, and complete revelation of God's love to you all,
Jen

Good Morning Girls!  A lot of things have happened over the summer.  The most exciting thing that has happened for me is that I have fallen in love with my Bible again!  I mean truly fallen in love with it.  Now I had been in love with my Bible before; but somewhere over the course of the last year, I lost the passion for my study time that I once had.  And it showed.....in many areas of my life!

Here are some of the areas that were affected, in no particular order:  my writing, my relationships with my husband, kids, family, and friends, my energy and enthusiasm, my health, my emotional peace, my relationship with Jesus, my faith, my courage, my focus, my discipline, my ability to encourage others, my........

Hmmmmm....it would appear that just about every area of my life was affected, and not in a good way!  Now don't misunderstand me here.  I am not saying I had a horrible year last year.  I am not saying I was of no value and was unable to minister and encourage anyone, or accomplish anything for the Lord.  I know that is not true.  I know the Lord used me.  I know He still spoke through me, despite myself. 

I'm sure nobody else had a clue that this area of my life had changed.  After all, I still had a Word of encouragement for most people.  I was confident when others ask me to pray for them (not in myself but the Lord.... I still used to freak out and think "boy oh boy did you ask the wrong person for prayer, you are probably going to want to go ask someone else after we are done here")  I had enough scripture and "spiritual wisdom"  stored up from the last 10 years of study time to carry me through.  Nobody knew any different.  Nobody but me anyway.

Now I am not saying I never read my Bible.  I still did that.....most of the time.  What I am saying is that I lost my passion, my love for that time.  It happens to a lot of us, and when it happens, we vow it will never happen again, but often times it does.  It does because we are human, and sometimes we let life get in the way.

We don't wake up and say "I have decided that I am no longer going to read my Bible.  It is a waste of time".  Usually what happens is one day life gets away from us and we miss out on our time in the Word, and the day still goes well so the next day we (whether we admit it or not) think "it's okay if I miss another day" and soon not reading, rather than reading, becomes the new habit. 

For those who were ever taught that you "had to" read your Bible to earn God's favor and grace, this is an especially tempting situation.  When you finally realize that God loves you and favors you regardless of whether or not you read your Bible, you feel liberated.  "Yeah!  One less thing on my to-do list"!!!!  You feel so free....but you are missing the point.  And you are missing out...big time!

What you are missing out on is the personal relationship with Jesus that occurs when you spend time in the Word.  Yes.  God still loves you.  Yes. He still wants you to prosper and have a good life.  It's not about reading to get "more".  God is not holding out on you until you cross off another chapter and verse.  The funny thing is, when you spend time in the Word, you will "get more".  You will get more in the form of getting more encouragement, more confidence, more ideas, more confirmation, more understanding, more EVERYTHING!!!!!  

God is not withholding these things from you until you spend a certain about of time in the Bible.  The simple truth is that there are some things that can only be revealed to you in the Word.  Think of it this way, you can join a gym.  You can know beyond a shadow of a doubt that by going to the gym and exercising you will improve your health.  But until you actually go, and exercise, you will not see any results. 

Let me say it again.  If you never read your Bible again......God still loves you.  He still favors you.  You are still the apple of His eye.  He does not think "yeah, that (insert your name here) is good, but I love and favor Jen more because she spent 15 more minutes in my Bible this morning".  No!  Absolutely not!  Don't even go there.....especially if you have not been in your Bible for awhile.  HE LOVES YOU JUST AS YOU ARE AND JUST WHERE YOU ARE AT!!!!!  the thing is....He wants you to realize just how much He loves you.....and this only occurs when you spend time with him!  Sure, it makes you feel good to hear me or someone else assure you that God loves you......but NOTHING compares to hearing it from the Lord himself!

I love to encourage you Girls in all things.  If I could pick one thing above all else......it would be to find some time in the Word.  Not so you can be a "better" Christian....but so you can be a more confident one.  I pray you all fall in love with Jesus as you get to know Him more personally!

2 Peter 1:3  by his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life.  We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence.

Love, peace, and a greater revelation of how much God loves you to you all,
Jen

Good Morning Girls!  Remember me?!  It's been 33 days since I last sat down to write.  A lot has changed in those 33 days.  I am not going to get into it all right now.  I'm sure bits and pieces will come out through my writing over the next few days and weeks ahead. 

 Hey-there's one change already!......the fact that I feel confident in saying I will be writing in the upcoming days and weeks ahead!  My source of confidence is not in myself.  I have no idea how I am going to write daily, as suddenly my schedule is getting more and more full.  It's a confidence that comes only from the Lord.  One of those times where you just know as you know that "it's time". 
I'm sure many of you have experienced it before.  You had been desiring to start or stop something.  Many it was a diet (desiring to stop in my case lol).  Maybe a bad habit, or even an addiction.  Maybe a new job....or a new house.  Whatever it may have been, the timing never seemed right.  There were too many obstacles.  Too many fears.  Maybe you even tried and failed. 

Perhaps you had these desires stirring in your heart for awhile.  And then you felt things beginning to "line up" around your situation.  Someone gave you a book on the very thing you were thinking about.  You were invited to a service that spoke directly to your heart.  You just "happened" to stumble on a particular verse that seemed to have been written specifically for you and only you....thousands of years ago.   

There are many little things that can start the "stirrings".....that initial SPARK!!! that gets the fire going.  Sometimes the spark is a low and slow burn for a while before you actually see flames.   Other times POOF! instant fire any Boy Scout of America would be proud of!  It reminds me of the song  I used to sing at church camp 30 years ago(YIKES! 30?) .......It only takes a spark....to get a fire go-ing...........

I just got back from Washington a week ago.  At the time there was a fire ban.  Do you know why?  Because fires can easily spread.  One minute they are contained and then suddenly they have spread and wiped out an entire forest!  Girls, I pray that as you read this today, you get a little SPARK! in your heart.  It may be the start of a low and slow fire, or it may be a wildfire.  Either way, may the Lord stir you up, light you up, and get your heart ready for what He is about to do in your life!

Anyone got a marshmallow and roasting stick.......I'm suddenly in the mood for a s'more........

James 3:5 But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire.........

Love, peace, sparks and flames to you all,
Jen

Good Afternoon Girls!  This is my 4th attempt at writing in 2 days.  Every time I start it feels so self centered and "all about me" that I delete and walk away.  Now I know a few of my close friends are laughing right now and saying "how is that any different than any other day?"  and to you....April.....I say...... very funny.

Seriously though, the last few days have been emotional for me.  I have had some revelations....some setbacks.....some fits.....and some breakthroughs.  I have been flooded with memories from my childhood.  Let's just say they are not of the "remember when we went to Disneyland and had the best day ever!!!" variety.  No, they are more of the "Remember when you were 9 and you had just received shots at the Dr and you turned to your mom and asked if you could go out for ice cream because you were so brave and before your mom could answer the Dr says "ICE CREAM!  ICE CREAM!  At your weight the last thing you need is ice cream.  If you get anything, it better be an apple!".  Yeah....happy memories like that.........

I thought I could use my blog to journal these things out as I process them.  I'm feeling a little different about that now.  I think it's best for me to "process" in private. 

I pray you all continue to have a most blessed summer.  I will see you soon.

Love, joy, and peace to you all-
Jen

Good Morning Girls!  Yesterday I told you all that despite my 7 weeks of INSANITY workouts, I have managed to gain.....not lose......6-7 pounds.  Going into it I wasn't so concerned about losing scale weight, though I did assume that would happen.  I was more interested in lowering my body fat by 2 percent.  If I would have broken even on the scale, I would have thought "okay"  things are good.  But to see  the number.....a number I haven't weighed in over a year or more come up.....well that was.....how do I put it....well quite simply that sucked!

Oh my dear Girls....I know you are trying to cheer me up.  "It's muscle" you are saying to your computer screen right now.  Well, I do confess, my booty is solid.  I've got a little JLo (jennifer lopez) thing going on back there......which really does no good because very few people see me in clothes that show my JLo.....but still I know it's back there.  Not that I would, but if I wanted to, I could sport me some Daisy Dukes and do just fine.....

As long as you don't look at the muffin top hanging over my Daisy Dukes!  That's where the fat has settled (again).  In the form of the small inner tube above my hips.  Lose it in the chest....gain it in the waist......how is that even fair?  I would much rather have 2-3 bra sizes than jean sizes to wear on my "fat boob" days.  C'mon Girls, who's with me.....can I get an Amen!

So those who know me best are wondering what I am going to do about the tube.  Certainly I must have a plan of attack already in motion right?  Am I cutting out carbs?  Am I counting calories?  Am I doing a cleanse.....a fast......a detox......?  Have I bought some new pill that curbs my appetite and gives me back my boobs?  What is it NOW you ask!!!!!!!!!!

I'll tell you what it is I am planning to do.  It's nothing.  That's right, nothing.  NO-THING!   I am not going to do a single thing about the tube right now.  Sure, when I first got on the scale my mind started scrambling at all the above mentioned tactics.  "Surely this must be dealt with before I leave again for 12 days at the cabin!  I can't go looking like this!  By the time I get home none of my jeans will fit!"  Oh yeah........that first day on the scale catapulted me into all the stages of grief.  Not for my dad, but for the loss of my "perfect number" on the scale.

And it was during the anger stage that I realized something.  I realized that I am more than a number.  Well, ok, I realized that I am supposed to realize that I am more than a number.  I haven't fully realized this.....but I do realize that this is what I need to work on more than anything.  Does that make sense?  I am not the number on the scale.  I am not the number on my jeans.  I am not the number of my body fat percentage.  My heart tells me this.  The part of me that understands how much Jesus loves me understands this.  The 12 year old fat girl inside that I am beginning to realize has been running the show a lot more than she should be is saying "Talk to the tube.....cuz the brain 'aint listening!"

So my plan, if you will, is to deal with my inner fat girl.  In the past I assumed the only way to deal with her, was to make her thin.  Then she would finally shut up.  But that is proving to be wrong.  The smaller I got, the greedier the fat girl inside got.  "Lose more!  Lose more!" she cried.  "You are still not good enough!"  "You can be a 4....if you just work a little harder!"  Oh, she is so obnoxious.  It's time to sit her down and have a little chat........

I figure the only way I can do this.... fully move in to the acceptance stage of grief....is to journal it out.  I don't have time to journal and blog, so I am doing it here.  I hope you all don't mind.  In fact, I hope I can help some of you quiet your inner fat girl....ugly girl.....awkward girl.....insecure girl....or whatever girl, other than the Real Girl that you are.  If you have a voice telling you that you are a less than beautiful Girl....a Girl who is loved beyond measure.....than you need to start talking to that girl.  That girl needs to understand that she is loved.  She is precious.  She is perfected in Christ.  She needs to be healed.  I am realizing that bands aids don't cut it.....the wounds are too deep.

If you have already moved into Acceptance, not just about your weight, but about who you are, please don't leave us.  Any input or feedback you have for the rest of us is deeply appreciated.  In fact, in the past I have not posted comments.  Maybe this is a good time to do so.....only with your permission.  If you send me a comment I will post it.  If you do not want me to, let me know, I will honor your request. 

Thanks for listening............I'm sure I owe you all millions in couch therapy dollars Lol

Proverbs 23:7  For as she thinks in her heart, so is she

Love, thanks, and acceptance to you all,
Jen

Good Morning Girls!  I hope you are all doing well.  I had a great time at the cabin in Wisconsin with my family.  I had two of my nephews  doing INSANITY with me and they both said "Auntie.....that stuff is legit!", which I believe means really tough in college boy lingo. 

I have two weeks of it left.....and I am counting down the days.  My ankles hurt.  My butt hurts.  I am sick of jumping.  I am sick of push ups.  I am sick of the dread I feel when I see the count down clock in the lower left side of the screen start at 59 minutes, 24 seconds or something like that.  My max attention span is about 45 minutes.  Anything after that is unnecessary torture in my book!  I confess I have thought of quitting, but I know I can't.  I will regret it forever.

Oh but I must look so smokin' hot by now right?  Seriously, these workouts are so intense and shocking to the system, they must be changing my shape.....RIGHT?  Yep.....they should.  They should......but they are not.  Would you like to know why they are not?  It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out why I have actually gained 6 pounds rather than lost any (and I don't want to hear any crap from any of you about me getting on the scale.....yep.....I did it.....end of discussion!).  Anyway, the reason I believe I have not only not lost....but gained weight is simple- I've been eating too much.  Duh!!!!!

You see, because these workouts were so intense I kind of took it as a license to eat freely.  I would try to follow a food plan, but by about 4pm I would be thinking things like "well it is summer vacation.......well I have been working out really hard.........I'm sure I will at least break even........I will deal with the eating later"  The most prevalent thought was "the workouts will compensate for my poor eating".  And I truly believed it.....or at least I wanted to believe it.  I believed it despite me knowing full well that you cannot exercise hard enough to compensate for a poor diet.  The body cannot burn off as much as we can put it on an ongoing basis if we continue to give it things it does not need.  We cannot get stronger simply by working out harder......it just doesn't work that way.

You know, this reminds me of another Spiritual truth.  We cannot compensate for our sins by hard work.  All of the good things we do will not compensate for all the sinful things we have done, are doing, or will do.  There is not enough time in the day to work off the sin.  The more we try to compensate for wrongdoing by working hard, the more "weight" we put on.  The weight we put on comes in the form of guilt, frustration, and feeling as though we will never get it right.  The weight becomes unbearable as we try to earn our way back into Gods grace and mercy.....His "size 6 designer jeans" arms of love if you will.  The weight is so heavy........

So what do you do when the burden feels too heavy?  How do you get rid of this excess weight that is bringing you down?  You change your diet.  You stop feeding your soul on on your works.....and start feeding it on the love of Christ.  Jesus is the only one you need to sustain you.  Chew on his Word.  Feast on His unfailing, ever faithful love.   Drink in His goodness, mercy, and never ending grace.  You will feel the extra weight of excess works and sin melt away.  It's the easiest diet you will ever find!

As for me and my physical diet.....well, I am still working on that one.  My answer may surprise you......I know it has surprised me.....but we will talk about that at another time..................


Hebrews 12:1-2  Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up.  And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.  We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.

Love, peace, and fat free faith to you all,
Jen