Good Morning Girls! My son woke up earlier than normal this morning, which was fine because my husband was snoring like a grizzly bear and I could hardly sleep. He worked an 18 hour day yesterday so I excuse him the snoring, as his body probably does need a mini period of hibernation. As I made my way to the kitchen to start the coffee, I almost tripped over all of the toys and clothes that were in the living room. I decided to sit in my chair and have a moment with the Lord….however my 85 pound yellow lab who has ears like no other, must have heard me sit down and came running upstairs with his towel, wanting me to play tug of war. “It’s 7 am Max…..not going to happen you big baby”. My time in the Word was better than no time at all….but definitely not one of those moments to be remembered if you know what I mean. I finally decided to sit down and write. However, I had to spend a couple minutes clearing all the junk off my kitchen table just to make room for my laptop. A game, a purse, a book, 2 cups, one sock? Why is there one sock on my kitchen table? It better not be a dirty sock. I sniff it….gross! It is dirty. I live with a bunch of wild animals I tell you! Of course, I did not put the junk away….I simply relocated it to the center island where it is staring at me now as I type. “I am living the dream right now I tell you” - Is the one thing keeps running through my head.
There are days when it seems impossible that I will ever be more than the mom who walks around picking up and sniffing socks to determine whether they are dirty or clean. “Will my wardrobe ever consist of more than 6 pair of sweatpants….and a couple church outfits?” I think to myself as I get out of the shower and put on a “fresh” pair of sweats. Will my house ever be clean…the way I like it? Will I ever have time with the Lord that is not interrupted by a dog that wants me to play, or kids that want me to read, or a husband that at the last minute wants to wear a certain shirt that he can’t find? Will there be a day when I put on grown up clothes and go somewhere other than the library, grocery store, school, post office, and kids birthday parties? Will there be a day when I actually accomplish the things I set out to do each day?
The answer is yes. And chances are, when that day comes, I will look back on days like today with longing and think “I wish I was in a pair of sweats right now….sipping my coffee, sitting on the floor with two kids and an 85 pound dog on my lap.”
I remember when the kids were even younger and I would be out in public with them. I would be exhausted from them and feel like if I closed my eyes for a second I would literally fall asleep standing up. It always seemed like at those times some stupid woman would smile at me and say: “Treasure this time with them….they grow up so fast”. I had to use all my restraint at times not to kick them in the shin and say “Here….take them…..if you miss it so bad!” I always vowed I would never, ever say to another mom “Treasure this time. This time where your hair is always whacked out, your clothes don’t quite fit, but you don’t have time to go shopping for yourself. This time where you are lugging around a mini suitcase filled with wipes, diapers, cheerios, goldfish, and leaky juice boxes. This time when complete thoughts are few and far between. This time when you feel like if one more person touches you, you will scream like no other. This time when your needs are the last needs to be met. Yes….treasure all of this….as it is precious.” Yes. I vowed I would never say that to anyone. But then again I vowed I would never get married…..I vowed I would never have kids……so what’s one more broken vow at this point?
And so with my shins guarded I say to those of you who, like me, are surrounded by toys, clothes, and socks that may or may not be dirty: Treasure this time. Not because it is the best time of your life, but because it is your life. It is your life right now. Today. And any dirty sock day with the Lord is better than a clean house day without. If you feel overwhelmed by it all, quit looking around…..and start looking up. I believe then you will see that we are in fact living the dream.
Psalm 84:10 A single day in your courts is better than a thousand anywhere else! I would rather be a gatekeeper (and dirty sock sniffer) in the house of my God than live the good life in the homes of the wicked.
Love, peace, clean socks, and dreams to you all-
Jen
Good Afternoon Girls! Well, here I am sitting in Barnes and Noble pretending to be a “real writer”. Usually I like to look around at the other people on their laptops and guess what they are working on. Are they a college student? A business man preparing for a big presentation? A stay at home mom updating her status on facebook? Or maybe they are working on the next National Best Seller….right before my very eyes. Everyone here has a story….but will we ever hear it?
Many of you have read my story…..my ongoing story. Today I was blessed with the honor and privilege of teaching at HomeMakers again. Of sharing a little more of “my story”. It was kind of a big deal for me. It was the first time I stepped on the platform without Renee’s stamp of approval. Usually I read her my teaching, word for word, and wait to hear those words of blessing and encouragement….letting me know I am good to go. However, with Renee still in Israel, today I was on my own…….and I didn’t like it!
I felt like a little kid. Insecure. Unsure. Desperately praying that I “got it right” and was following the leading of that still small voice (which is hard to hear sometimes….especially over the sounds of a 5 and 7 year old). I spent the last couple of days fighting the thoughts in my head. The thoughts that said “you are about to fall flat on your face”. It is funny how I say God gets the Glory….and the criticism. However, it doesn’t seem to play out that way in my head. If I “get it right” Praise the Lord. If I don’t….well then shame on me.
Praise the Lord…..He carried me through again! Afterwards a few Girls shared some of the dreams that are stirring in their hearts. I think what struck me the most is how all of us, are still just as childlike as we are grown up. We all want to “do something” and “be someone”. And even though on one hand it is simply a privilege to be a child of the Most High God, we still desperately want to “be more” and “do more”. I believe part of it is simply human nature. I believe the bigger part, for me, and the Girls I talked to today, is the fact that the Lord has changed our lives so much, we have this desire….this need even, to share this Great Love with others. This need to connect with others….To be able to share “our story” drives us to be something more than what we are.
It isn’t always easy walking out the dreams we have in our hearts. It takes guts. It takes a thick skin. It also takes a lot of encouragement from the Girls it has pleased the Lord to put in your life! I look forward to the day I grow up and become less dependent on the feedback and approval of others. The day when I can “do it unto the Lord” in a way that even if not one person gives me a word of encouragement, I can walk in confidence that I said or did whatever it was the Lord wanted me to say or do.
Until that day arrives, I thank God for those of you who have prayed for me, or offered me a word of encouragement. It is a blessing and honor to stand beside you all and dream. Not only do I daydream about my dreams coming true…..I can now daydream about yours as well! I am excited for the testimonies that are in process right now, this very minute! I am excited for us to laugh together some day soon and say “who would have thought”……..Praise God for He is the Who. The only Who who would of thought to take a “beautiful mess” like me……and turn her into a message!
Love and dreams to you all,
Jen
ps I'm trying to look mysterious.....like a brooding writer.....I don't think it's working though. It's hard to "brood" with the light of the Lord inside of you! Maybe I should trade my pink lip gloss in for black.........
Good Morning Girls! I don’t have much to say this morning. My eyes are only half open because somehow I got sucked into the Academy Awards last night….I have no idea how that happened. Must be because Tom is still away on business. I haven’t had the remote for 12 years now, so I must have decided to keep the tv on whatever channel I chose first…..just to prove that it is possible! So yeah I proved my point….boo, cause now I am tired.
At least I am not tired due to a sugar hangover! It has been two weeks now, and it is going pretty good. I did however find a replacement drug last week. That would be pulled pork sandwiches and french fries. Seriously. I ended up going out to eat 3 times last week. That is very odd as I haven’t been out to eat three times in the last 3 months prior to last week. But somehow in one week I ended up eating three orders of fries.
My ordering strategy had changed completely. In the past I would have ordered a salad with chicken breast……so I could have dessert. Now, knowing I would not be eating dessert, I simply ordered what sounded good. I’m pretty sure the draw to the pork sandwich was the bbq sauce, which is known to have a high sugar content. Baby steps………
Another part of the ordering choices could be what I call the Entitlement Factor. It is that sense of “well if I can’t do this…..than I am going to do that”. It is that sense of entitlement that got me into trouble in the first place. “I gave up drinking….I gave up smoking…..I gave up gambling……I gave up swearing…….at the very least I am Entitled to eat whatever I want.” And the truth is we are entitled to eat whatever we want. Entitled simply means we have a right to something. Whether I eat cake or a protein shake for breakfast, God loves me the same. It is not about right or wrong. The problem with feeling Entitled is the attitude that accompanies it. It is the attitude of: “I gave this up for you” that lands us into trouble.
If there was ever a Man who had a right to play the “Entitlement card” it would be Jesus! If he were anyone other than who He is, you know he would look at us and say “Don’t you know what I did for you? Don’t you know how much I suffered? Don’t you know the pain, anguish and torture I endured for you! Now since I did that for you…..you have to do this for me!” Come on Girls, you all know you have played the Entitlement card to your family for far less things…..I know I have! “I just finished cleaning the kitchen after making you all supper and now I have to go finish the laundry…….the least you could do for me is give me 15 minutes to myself! I am at least Entitled to that!” And Girls, you are. However, when your attitude shifts to always being Entitlement minded, you end up making your family feel like you hate doing everything you do for them. You also end up in a place where all you are thinking about is your self, and the things you are entitled to.
We are not Entitled to anything based on the work we do. We are Entitled to everything because of the work Jesus did on the cross. We are entitled to a life of love, peace, provision, and joy….a life with Jesus…because of Him. It is a privilege….an undeserved one at that!
Love you all,
Jen
Romans 5:2 Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory.
23Diverse and deceitful weights are shamefully vile and abhorrent to the Lord, and false scales are not good.