Good Morning Girls!  Saturday afternoon a random thought popped in my head. I thought about it for a little bit, and then dismissed it.  I dismissed it because I believed I already knew the answer and decided it wasn't worth me following up on.  Later that evening something happened that made me think, "hmmm, I wonder if I should have...but oh well, it's too late now.  Surely if this was a prompting of the Holy Spirit I would know by now!"  (You see, somehow I dismissed this second "feeling" because I had already concluded my own answers the first time I had this supposedly random thought).  Sunday morning I received a phone call with terrible news.  As I was listening to the story I was trying not to scream and throw up.  Not only because the story itself was very tragic, but because it left me with this question... "What if I would have listened to that "random" thought?  Would things be different Sunday morning, if I had acted on Saturday night?  Now, I know that my lack of action did not cause the situation.  There is however part of me that still wonders if I could have somehow changed the outcome of that situation.  A friend of mine was over at the time I got the call.  I pleaded with her to assure me it was not my fault.  That if the Lord was going to intervene, and I was not listening to His voice, that He would move to someone else.  I begged her to tell me what I desperately needed to hear.  She tried to help, but there really is nothing that could be said to make me feel better.  I had to head off to church, and I spent the whole time crying out to the Lord for forgiveness, and asking for peace.  I know the guilt is from the enemy of my faith, but the lack of peace?  I still don't know.  what I do know is this: the next time I have a random thought, I will stop, get out of my head, and ask the Lord if it is from Him.  If I am still not sure, I will follow through with the thought.  I have more faith that the Lord would stop me from making a mistake than I have faith in myself.  I don't know if I could've changed the situation.  But I know I could've changed the torment I am feeling still today.  There is nothing worse than feeling "what if".  I know the Lord does not want this situation to cause me to pull away.  There needs to be something good to come of it.  So here it is:  I am more keenly aware of the thoughts and feelings I have. I will go to the Lord when I am unsure whether or not I have been prompted by the Spirit.  And I will not dismiss things with my own reasoning.  I believe in my heart the Lord can use this situation to prepare me for a bigger situation to come in which my response to the Spirits promptings are absolutely vital.  So Girls listen up!  Better to listen to the Spirit than to sit with a big what if on your heart.  Don't go worrying about me though, I am meditating on Renee's daily scripture for today, and I know the Lord will heal my broken heart!

John 16:13 when the spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth.  He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he has heard.  he will tell you about the future

Love you all-
Jen