Good Morning Angels (that makes me feel like Charlie from Charlie's Angels).  Yesterday we were to discuss "rules of engagement" with our spouses.  I am sure you know what I am going to say.  Tom and I really do not argue.  I have been too apathetic to argue over the last couple of years.  We are much more passive aggressive.  We disagree by not giving full attention, or by muttering "whatever" under our breath.  I will sometimes agree with him and then still do it my way because he is not around and he will never know.  I justify this because "if I am the one who has to do it, than I will do it my way".  So, though we do not officially argue, we do have a ineffective and often disrespectful way of communicating.  I am happy to report that over the last few days however, things are changing around here.  Maybe it's because I purpose to be pleasant which makes it easier for Tom to talk to me.  When I walk around with the "my work is never done around here, how nice you get to come home and watch tv attitude", it really just gives Tom more reason to retreat in front of the tv and seek solace there.  He obviously is not going to find it in his wife who is "too busy" taking care of the house and kids....but not him. 
No, I did not talk to Tom about fighting fair.  He would have thought I was off my rocker.  I have however decided that when he asks me to do something a certain way, I will.  I will not roll my eyes, mutter as I walk away, or sigh and make a big deal every time he leaves more of a mess for me to clean up.  Now some of you may feel I am becoming a doormat.  I believe with all of my heart, if I act as fun, loving and care free with him, as I do with all of you, things will change in this home.  With the change one of two things will happen.  Either he will help more( stop laughing), or, he will not help more but I will not care because my emotional love tank will be full and I won't mind taking care of him.  I will delight in being his help-mate.
In fact, I am already starting to feel this way.  The kids and I made him homemade cookies yesterday (yes, I ate half of them, but at least I didn't blame him for that).  I also finally went to Home Depot on Wednesday and got him his present from Assignment #3.  I couldn't find the item so by the end of my quest I had 3 employees with me looking for it.  One of them said "if your husband already bought one here why don't you call and ask him where it was"  I said, "he had to give the first one away as a gift, so I am surprising him".  The other guy looked at me and said "hey.  that's cool.  That's really thoughtful."  I am not kidding, he said the word thoughtful!  I smiled from ear to ear, and said "thanks".  I finally found the item, even though there were 3 others looking with me.  They all laughed and said "If we can help you not find something else let us know!"  Seriously, I have never had so much fun shopping and I was at a Home Depot....buying a grill accessory for Tom!  By the time I wrapped it and wrote out his card, it didn't matter what his response was, the process was enough of a bright spot in my day.  Tom did like it, but he wasn't nearly as excited as the 3 Home Depot guys and I were to find it.  I believe the Lord made it extra fun for me as a reward for finishing the assignment!
So Girls, if you are starting to feel like you are the one who is making all of the changes, and is doing even more work, do not get weary.  I believe the Lord has it all worked out.  If our spouses take advantage for awhile, and we keep on with smiles on our faces, we will get to them.  They will fall in love with the Girl they once new again, not the worn out, burdened by housework and children, over emotional unsatisfied women that we can so easily appear to be(even when we are not).  Change is a comin'.....(and it's way better than Barack Obama has promised).  Stay with me Girls.....the reward is great.....I believe that will all of my heart!

Assignment:
Purposely neglect an activity you would normally do so you can spend quality time with your spouse. (no, not showering) Do something he or she would love to do (uh-oh) or a project they'd really like to work on.  Just be together.

Questions:
What did you decide to give up?  what did you do together? How did it go? what new thing did you learn(or relearn) about your spouse?

Proverbs 23:26 Give me your heart.....and let your eyes delight in my ways

my activity is going to be to stay in bed tomorrow morning.  My routine is to wake up, hop out of bed and start my day full steam ahead.  Tom usually turns on the tv and watches a couple minutes of financial news and stuff.  I am going to stay there (even if it does feel like torture) until he gets up.  I will write later in the day.  Oh, the thought of it is both nice and awful........

Love you all-
Jen