Good Morning Girls! (and Jeremy).  Last spring I wrote a blog about the importance of having a pace car in your life.  A pace car is someone who is "a few steps ahead" of you in a particular area of growth in life that you are also improving on.  It is someone you can keep your eyes on when you are moving towards your goals, or desired outcomes.  It is someone who has been on the road before and can help you get over the obstacles and detours you will encounter.  I believe having marriage pace cars are equally important.

A marriage pace car doesn't have to be a couple who has what appears to be a "perfect" marriage.  In order to "qualify", they simply need to exhibit a character trait within their marriage that you admire and would like to have in your marriage.  I have different pace car couples for different parts of marriage (wouldn't you all agree that there are many different pieces to a successful marriage, therefore the need for multiple pace cars?)  I have a pace car in my friend who has unlimited patience with her husband when many of us would have packed up and left.  I have a pace car for my friends who have a great sex life.  I have a communication pace car.  I have a parenting pace car. I have a  true friendship with your spouse pace car. I have a pace car that creates in me a desire to do the work to get the marriage we deserve.  I have many marriages in my life that provide me with examples of how great things are when they are running properly. 

I am also blessed to have a marriage mentor in my life.  She has been there for me over the years of ups and downs.  She is always encouraging and honest, even when it hurts.  She does not automatically take my side.  She does however, encourage me to do the work that is mine to do, and turn the rest over to the Lord.  When I screw up she never says "well now you blew it.  It's going to take months to recoup from that one".  She never made me feel like it was hopeless.  She has always provided me with sound advice, both biblical and personal.  Her marriage is an example of what God can and will do when you ask him to help you with your marriage.  She is real, never fake.  She is willing to expose the mistakes in her life, so that others may learn and be encouraged.  Many of you know exactly who I am talking about......Thank you Mama Burt!  I don't think I have told you lately how much I appreciate you Renee, and for that I am sorry.  I truly believe if I hadn't been tucked under your wing a few years ago, my life would be nothing like it is today.  I am sure I would not be in the Word, let alone writing about it.  I am sure I would not be who I am today.  Yes, I know the glory goes to the God, but he used YOU to bring me closer to Him.  Again, I am eternally grateful!

Those of us who belong to HomeMakers really are spoiled.  I know everyone who attends feels the same way about Renee as I do.  For those of you who do not belong to such a group, I strongly encourage you to do todays assignment.  You need someone you can trust with your marriage.  You need a godly example to go to.  You need a person, not another book to gain insight from.  You need a mentor to tell you when it is your fault, and to tell you when to let it go.  You need someone who is not personally vested in the relationship (no mother-in laws, sisters, etc).  You need this support.  Your marriage needs this support.  Please find it.

Assignment:
Find  a marriage mentor-someone who is a strong Christian and who will be honest and loving with you.  If you feel that counseling is needed, then take the first step to set up an appointment.  During this process, ask God to direct your decisions and discernment.

Questions:
Who did you choose?  Why did you select this person?  What do you hope to learn from them?

Proverbs 11:14 In abundance of counselors there is victory

Love you all-
Jen