Good Morning Girls!  Fourteen months ago the Holy Spirit brought a message to my heart.  I felt led to share it with my small group at Homemakers so I wrote it up and e-mailed it to them.  There was not a lot of risk involved in that first message.  My "Girls" were my audience.  I knew them and they knew me.  Even if what I was saying did not make sense to them, they would still love me.  The chances of me offending them were minimal as they all knew my heart.  It was a safe environment for me to share. 
Within 3 months I had expanded my messages to a personal website.  I will never forget the feeling I had when I posted my first blog for all to see.  I was terrified!  "What if someone reads this and comments that I am an idiot!"  "What if I have misinterpreted the Word?"  "What if I make someone angry?"  "What if, what if, what if....." I was excited and sick to my stomach at the same time.  I really felt like I was taking a leap of faith.  I was putting myself out there for criticism, and I was not sure if I was ready for it.  Despite my fear, I knew I was supposed to do it.  I had no choice but to trust the Lord on this one.
For the first few weeks, I would not stay away from home for more than a few hours.  I kept checking my e-mail to see if their were any messages, good or bad, from those reading my blog.  I was desperate for confirmation that what I was doing was a blessing.  I was also too proud to tell everyone how scared, uncertain, and vulnerable I was feeling.  I kept putting out messages praying that they were being read and received.  I drove myself crazy, but I still kept on writing.
God knows our breaking points.  He knows when we need an "atta Girl".  Just when I would really start to wonder if what I was doing was right, I would receive a comment about something I had written and how it had ministered to them.  I would be re-energized and my confidence would be restored.  It would carry me through for awhile until I needed another "atta Girl".  (now, I could do a whole other blog about the need I have for "atta Girls" from those around me, but for now we will stay on task)
 There were times when I wanted to write "HELLO....Is anyone reading this?  Does this make sense to you?  Could you give me an Amen or something?" When I found myself feeling this way I had to remind myself that I was doing this out of obedience.  Even if nobody was reading my messages, I was still supposed to write them.  I have learned more from this process in one year than any other year of my Christian walk.
I am now to a point where the fear is gone.  I no longer worry about offending anyone.  I no longer worry about what others may think of me.  I am finally to a place where I know 100% that my writing is not about me.  The messages I write are inspired by the Holy Spirit.  I am not the talent.  I am simply the vessel.  If anyone gets angry, they can take it up with the Lord!
So here's what I want you to get from this story:  When you step out in faith in order to develop your "She", you better believe there will be some fear involved!  It will not be easy.  You will most likely feel unqualified, uncertain, and even unworthy at times.  However, the more you press on the easier it gets.  The more your gift develops, the more you will see that your gift is not your own.  It is truly of the Lord.  Since the glory is His, so is the criticism!  So my dear Girls, trust God at his Word.  He promises us that He will personally go before us and never abandon us!
Can I get an Amen.....seriously, can I get an Amen......I need a little something to let me know you are hearing me......

Deuteronomy 31:8 "Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you.  He will be with you, he will neither fail you nor abandon you"

Love you all (and I'm not afraid to tell you)
Jen