Mid Life Crisis or Moment of Revelation?
Good Morning Girls! I hope you are all ready to take a ride with me! I have been studying this latest 'thing" for a week now and I wanted to get through it and be able to present it to you all nice and neat and packaged complete. However, I keep getting more and more excited, and the Holy Spirit keeps leading me down different paths and I have no idea where it is leading in the end, or when it will end. It could be a week, it could be a month. So, if you can bear with the rabbit trails I would love to bring you all along with me on this journey! I have been so blessed by it already. I know you will too. Did I mention I was reallllllly excited? Man I wish I had a microphone....I can feel a preach comin' on!!!!!!
It started last Tuesday when I put Charley, my 7 year old, on the bus. I put her on the bus and realized she would not return to me for 7 1/2 hours. I walked into the house dazed, looking like a deer in the headlights. Last year she went to Kindergarten for only 2 1/2 hours a day, and I drove her. It didn't really count. This was the real deal. I looked at Thomas, who is 5. We have already decided that he will be going to all day Kindergarten next year. The only question is whether we will pay the extra to send him every day verses the standard every other day (it depends mainly on whether I have to return to work full time).
I realized what so many others are experiencing in the work force- my job had just been downsized, and by this time next year it would be outsourced completely! Okay, not completely, but 7 1/2 hours- the main shift, is being outsourced- to people I don't know very well no less! I have crossed that threshold where my kids will now be with other people more than they will be with me! To say it freaked me out would be an understatement.
My freak out was not about my kids. I feel confident that they are currently placed where it pleases God to have them. I have a peace that I would not have thought possible a year ago at the thought of switching them to public school. I believe in the power of prayer. I believe in the divine protection that covers our children daily. I believe they will be a light in the world, and darkness will not overtake them. I believe they get on the bus with an army of angels who have watch over them. I believe God has great plans for them. I believe they were created with a great purpose. There is no doubt in my mind they are on the right path (and I pray and stand in faith that I will be able to say those same things when they are teenagers). No, my freak out was not about my kids......it was about me!
What's next for me? I have been a stay at home mom for 7 years! Actually I quit my job when I learned I was pregnant, so I have been a stay at home mom (I did have a new puppy then) for 8 years! Casual clothes, ponytails, and play dates have been my life. I will soon be entering the "next phase"- but what is that next phase? My mind started racing with all kinds of thoughts. "Will I go to work full time? How will I find a job that works around my kids schedule? What am I even qualified to do after being away for 8 years? I do not want to have to start answering to someone else again! I do not want to dress up again! Maybe I should have another baby- that would buy me a couple of years (don't worry, I would NEVER do this). Seriously- what am I going to do? Should I be doing something now to prepare me for next year? What am I supposed to do?!!!!"
All of those thoughts flooded my mind in a matter of seconds before I realized I was going nowhere fast. It is certainly a waste of my time and my life to try to figure out today what I should or will be doing a year from now. If I have learned anything over the last couple of years it is the fact that life can change dramatically from year to year. There is no sense in trying to have it all worked out. So, I did the only thing that made sense to me. I took my questions to the Lord.
"Lord, what should I....what will I be doing?" And then I used a word that I really never use. I asked "What should I pursue?" The moment that word came to mind, it stopped me in my tracks. It stopped me because as I said, I never use that word. Why then would it come to mind now? I looked in my concordance in the back of my bible. The word pursue had a long list of scriptures. Hmmmmm, perhaps I should look at God's Word and see what He says I should pursue. After all, I do not want to waste my time on futile plans. I may as well go straight to the Boss from the get go!
And that, my Girls, is how this journey began. Starting tomorrow we will take a look at what the Word, not the world, says we should pursue. May it excite you and bring you comfort as it already has me! I put my faith in Him, trusting the path He has set before me. He has one for you as well!
Psalm 23:3 He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name.
Love you all-
Jen
It started last Tuesday when I put Charley, my 7 year old, on the bus. I put her on the bus and realized she would not return to me for 7 1/2 hours. I walked into the house dazed, looking like a deer in the headlights. Last year she went to Kindergarten for only 2 1/2 hours a day, and I drove her. It didn't really count. This was the real deal. I looked at Thomas, who is 5. We have already decided that he will be going to all day Kindergarten next year. The only question is whether we will pay the extra to send him every day verses the standard every other day (it depends mainly on whether I have to return to work full time).
I realized what so many others are experiencing in the work force- my job had just been downsized, and by this time next year it would be outsourced completely! Okay, not completely, but 7 1/2 hours- the main shift, is being outsourced- to people I don't know very well no less! I have crossed that threshold where my kids will now be with other people more than they will be with me! To say it freaked me out would be an understatement.
My freak out was not about my kids. I feel confident that they are currently placed where it pleases God to have them. I have a peace that I would not have thought possible a year ago at the thought of switching them to public school. I believe in the power of prayer. I believe in the divine protection that covers our children daily. I believe they will be a light in the world, and darkness will not overtake them. I believe they get on the bus with an army of angels who have watch over them. I believe God has great plans for them. I believe they were created with a great purpose. There is no doubt in my mind they are on the right path (and I pray and stand in faith that I will be able to say those same things when they are teenagers). No, my freak out was not about my kids......it was about me!
What's next for me? I have been a stay at home mom for 7 years! Actually I quit my job when I learned I was pregnant, so I have been a stay at home mom (I did have a new puppy then) for 8 years! Casual clothes, ponytails, and play dates have been my life. I will soon be entering the "next phase"- but what is that next phase? My mind started racing with all kinds of thoughts. "Will I go to work full time? How will I find a job that works around my kids schedule? What am I even qualified to do after being away for 8 years? I do not want to have to start answering to someone else again! I do not want to dress up again! Maybe I should have another baby- that would buy me a couple of years (don't worry, I would NEVER do this). Seriously- what am I going to do? Should I be doing something now to prepare me for next year? What am I supposed to do?!!!!"
All of those thoughts flooded my mind in a matter of seconds before I realized I was going nowhere fast. It is certainly a waste of my time and my life to try to figure out today what I should or will be doing a year from now. If I have learned anything over the last couple of years it is the fact that life can change dramatically from year to year. There is no sense in trying to have it all worked out. So, I did the only thing that made sense to me. I took my questions to the Lord.
"Lord, what should I....what will I be doing?" And then I used a word that I really never use. I asked "What should I pursue?" The moment that word came to mind, it stopped me in my tracks. It stopped me because as I said, I never use that word. Why then would it come to mind now? I looked in my concordance in the back of my bible. The word pursue had a long list of scriptures. Hmmmmm, perhaps I should look at God's Word and see what He says I should pursue. After all, I do not want to waste my time on futile plans. I may as well go straight to the Boss from the get go!
And that, my Girls, is how this journey began. Starting tomorrow we will take a look at what the Word, not the world, says we should pursue. May it excite you and bring you comfort as it already has me! I put my faith in Him, trusting the path He has set before me. He has one for you as well!
Psalm 23:3 He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name.
Love you all-
Jen
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