Good Morning Girls!  It seems my faith is constantly evolving.  It never feels or looks the same from one year to the next.  In fact, I hesitate to call it my faith anymore.  You see, in the past it was my faith...as in what I believed, how much I believed it, and what I did or did not do to grow deeper in the knowledge of it.  This eventually lead to me feeling and thinking that my faith was more about me than about God.
In the last few months however my faith has evolved more into my relationship.....my relationship with Jesus.  In doing do, it takes the responsibility off of me, and puts in on Him.  Or at the very least it evens it out a little bit.  In that I mean He loves me unconditionally and I love, praise, worship, and admire Him because I am in awe of His love for me.   However, even if I didn't do any of that, He would still love me unconditionally.  How awesome is that?
Now I know this may seem basic and elementary to many of you.  And it should.  It is the most basic, foundational truth there is in the Gospel-- Jesus loves us, and wants to have a personal relationship with us.  When I was first born again, it was all about my relationship with Jesus.  I didn't do anything.......I didn't even know what I was "supposed to do".  I just loved Him, because I knew how much He loved me, and it felt awesome to be loved so much.  Our relationship was pure and simple.....and by simple I mean I never had doubts of His love.  I just believed everything I heard about Gods goodness and freely received every blessing He poured out on me. 
But just like with any earthly love relationship I wanted to know my Love more and more.  And so I started "doing" what I was told to do in order to know God more.  I did it with a pure heart, truly desiring to understand this Man whose sole purpose in life seemed to be that He would die so that I may spend eternity in heaven with Him.  Who wouldn't be willing to do just about anything for such a Man?  And so I did everything I was taught to do.....and it was good. I did get to know God more.  I learned more about His character.  I learned about His likes and dislikes.  I learned about His desires for us.  The more I learned, the bigger He got.  And this was good.  I had more "concrete evidence" to stand on in the form of Scripture and biblical knowledge.  This knowledge gave me confidence in my faith.  It helped me "grow up".  It helped me become.......become........become.......more.......spiritual.......
Now it is good to know the character of God.  It is good to follow the guiding of your church leaders.  It is good to spend time in prayer and in the Word.  However, what happened with me, happens with many.  That is, as I grew in my knowledge of Him, I grew out of my relationship with Him.  As my knowledge grew, so did the distance in my personal relationship with Him.  The more I knew about Him- the less I knew Him.  Does that make sense?
Now herein lies the dilemma.....how do you find and maintain the balance?  I still believe time in the Word and time in prayer is priceless.  I still believe we are to serve the church and serve others.  But I also believe that it is my relationship with the Lord that matters most of all.  How do I still "do" all these things without tainting my relationship?  I don't know for sure, but I currently believe the balance is found by looking at my motive.  Am I reading the Word so I can feel confident that I have done "that which is pleasing to the Lord".......so I don't "upset Him".  Or am I reading the Word because my heart is so hungry to know Him that I cannot get enough of Him?  Right now it is the hunger that drives me.  But it was the hunger that drove me years ago and somehow it changed from hunger to religious requirement.  How do I keep it pure this time?
Well Girls, that is the million dollar question now isn't it?  How do we do the "things" that are good for our relationship with Him, without turning them into a formula?  How do we keep or motives pure?  How do we grow in our knowledge of Him and grow in our relationship with Him?  I believe it can be done.  I know many wonderful people who successfully have both knowledge and intimacy.  The desire of my heart is to do the same. 

Anyone care to join me?

Philippians 1:9  I pray that your love will overflow more and more, and that you will keep on growing in knowledge and understanding.
wow....that verse pretty much sums it up don't you think?

Love you all-
Jen