The more I was able to share with others, the more my desire to write grew.  I really had it on my heart to write a book.  My first book idea was a 90 day devotional written for women who were trying to lose weight.  I had just lost some weight and the one thing that I believed really helped me was to meditate on a daily scripture.  It helped me maintain my focus and made it easier to say no to the food I wanted and yes to the exercise I didn't feel like.  It made sense to me that I would share this information- especially since it seems like almost every Girl I know has tried to lose weight at some point in their lives.
I found myself a couple of guinea skinnies (guinea pigs did not seem appropriate under the circumstances).  I would e-mail them a weeks worth of devotions each Sunday in order to give me some sort of deadline.  This worked out well for about 6 weeks.  Then I don't know, I seemed to lose heart.  I had nothing more to say.  It all felt wrong.  It wasn't what I thought it would be.  My skinnies said they really liked them, but I just couldn't continue.  It just wasn't right.  I can't really explain it.
I went through this process 3 or 4 times.  I would find skinnies, write devotionals, and after about 6 weeks lose heart and hit a dead end.  The weird thing is, every time I started writing a weight loss devotional, my eating and exercise would fall apart.  I think I gained 5 pounds every time I tried to write a weight loss devotional! 
Some shrink would say it was self sabotage.  I was afraid.  Afraid of success, afraid of failure, afraid of who knows what.  I don't know, maybe they would be right.  I do confess there were times when I would be writing and I would think "Jen, if you actually have this published, you will never be able to gain the weight back.  Only Oprah can get away with that!".  To suddenly feel obligated to eat right and exercise for the rest of my life felt overwhelming.  It's not that I ever plan on going back to my old lifestyle.  It's just that it's one thing to make these decisions for yourself- another thing to have to make them so you don't look like a big fat phony liar.....literally!  
As much as this explanation makes sense to me, I don't believe it is the real reason I have been unable to finish any of my weight loss devotionals.   I believe I have hit a wall each time because the devotional is not the book the Lord has planned for me.  Not now anyway.  It doesn't mean it will never happen.  It just means now is not the time. 
I do however have a new book burning in my heart.  In fact, you are almost done reading the preface of it!  I have wanted to jump right in (that is my natural tendency), but I thought I should start at the beginning.  I thought it made sense to take a look at the last two years and see how God's plan has unfolded in my life.  So often a desire is stirred in our hearts and we want it to manifest immediately.  That certainly was the case for me.  However, if I would have forced something to happen, I would not be in the place I am right now.  The place where I fully believe with all my heart it has pleased God to place me.  A place where I am ready and willing to share my stories with you............