Yes, I am still stuck at home.  I am running out of sweatpants and I cannot watch one more minute of Spongebob.  I am starting to feel like Patrick is my best friend.........

Yesterday I wrapped up a 4 part story that included a part in which the Lord asked me to do something that I did not necessarily want to do at first.  In the end, I obeyed the direction of the Holy Spirit, and the reward was not only awesome, it was immediate.  It was one of those times when I knew exactly why the Lord had me do what it was He asked me to do.
I love it when that happens.  I love it for many reasons.  I love it because it is fun to be used by the Lord.  I love it because it is confirmation that I did in fact hear the Holy Spirit's promptings (as opposed to the times I am too caught up in myself to hear His still small voice).  I love it because His rewards are always better than the rewards I plan for myself.  I love it because it reminds me that God has a plan for my life......a wonderful, exciting plan.  I love it because it somehow validates in my mind that I am on the right track.  Just thinking about those moments brings a smile to my face.  I would like to have them every day. Obedience would be so much easier if we were guaranteed awesome, immediate rewards every time.  But how many of you know (from experience) that it is not always the case.................

I would like to share with you all another story of obedience. 

It was eight years ago.  I was pregnant with Charley.  I don't know why it is, but it seems like when I am pregnant I am much more aware of the spirit realm....both good and evil.  I think it is our mama bear instincts that have us in tune to everything around us.  I was still just a babe in the Lord.....trying to "catch up" and learn as much as I could so I would at least know a little more about God than my baby would.  It was a fun and exciting time for me.  Tom's business was so blessed I was able to quit my job 7 months before my due date.  That is some serious God given maternity leave!
One day while driving I had this very random thought.  "You should call Jane Doe and apologize for the way you acted in high school".  Now obviously Jane Doe is not her name.  Oh how my flesh desperately wants to use her real name, but I won't.  I will take the moral high ground and keep her identity secret (though I do rejoice in knowing full well the Lord knows who I am talking about!).  Ugh....I repent of my childish behavior Lord, but you know how I feel about this.......
Anyway, as I have shared with you all before, I have not always been the sweet Girl you all currently know and love.  In fact, I had a lot of serious "issues".  Sure, I was nice to everyone.  I did not conform to the jocks don't talk to the theater people, don't talk to the chess team don't talk to the burn outs kind of girl.  I was actually nice to each part of the Breakfast Club..... Until you maybe got in my way or somehow offended me.  Then, well, let's just say things could get ugly real fast.  I had a bit of a mouth on me.  A quick temper mixed with a sharp quick witted tongue that could shred anyone down to pieces in no time.  I didn't necessarily like to unleash this side of me, but hey, a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do I figured back then.
And just like every other cartoon, and comic book character (which is what I was back then), I too had my own personal nemesis.  Her name was (oh dear Lord how I want to say it.....but I won't).....Jane Doe.  Jane Doe and I tried to be friends, but we just couldn't be.  There was a clash between us that was beyond our control (wow, I am really feeling dramatic today aren't I).  It especially escalated when she started dating my ex boyfriend......Joe....yep Joe, as in Joe Schmo (yes, I have changed his name as well).  I had broken up with him, and he was heart broken I believe.  I loved tormenting her and showing her that he still liked me, and was willing to do anything for me.  I would have him bring me to school, or to a party.  I would tease her about being second choice.  I would instigate a fight between them and sit back and enjoy the show.  I was really awful. 
Before I continue I feel the need to enter a disclaimer.  You may be shocked by the things you are reading today.  You may find it so very hard to believe that I was once capable of being such a snot face.  But I was.  And in telling you this story, I am letting the snot face in me resurface.  I am letting it resurface so you can experience this story the same way I did.  I want you to return, ever so briefly, to high school.  I want you to feel awkward and ugly and frustrated with me.  I want the old teen angst to rise up in you....I don't believe it ever truly goes away.  It just gets shoved down deep, where the wild things are.  I want you to go to this deep dark hormonal place so you can fully appreciate this lesson.  I want you to understand why when I heard the words "you should call Jane and apologize", I about passed out. 
"What?  Who said that?  Is this another side effect of being pregnant?  Am I hearing strange voices in my head?  When I get home I am going straight to my What to Expect When You're Expecting book, and look up 'insane random thoughts'.  That must be what this is.  Some kind of hormonal mental episode."  I started laughing at the very thought of calling Jane and apologizing.  It was the most absurd thing I have heard of, next to leg warmers coming back in style. I went home and went on with my life.  Dismissing the random thought as heartburn from the boneless buffalo bites I had eaten for lunch. 
The next Sunday at church, Pastor Mac was talking about the prayer of Jabez, and how Jabez had asked the Lord to increase his territory....and how God had answered his prayer.  He was talking about having the courage to ask such a thing and the responsibility that comes with asking such a thing.  As I sat in service I prayed "Lord, please increase my territory" (and I wasn't talking about my butt, which was getting bigger each week).  Here's the response I got: "How can I increase your territory when you still have not done what I asked you to do?".  "What!!! Are we back on that Jane Doe thing again?  So it was you?  I didn't imagine the whole thing?  You really want me to call her and tell her I am sorry?  Seriously?  Isn't there anything else you could have me do?"  The silent response confirmed my worse fear.  God did in fact want me to call Jane and tell her I was sorry.  On the way home I told Tom what had happened, hoping he would say "that's crazy Jen, you are just being hormonal".  But that Judas betrayed me "Looks like you don't have much of a choice", was his response.  "Nice.  Give a fat girl a chance would you.....I'm carrying your seed after all!  Who's side are you on?"  Those are just some of the thoughts I had at that moment.  All the while knowing what I had to do.
The next day while Tom was at work, I went online to try and track Jane down.  Come to find out, she ended up marrying Joe Schmo.  They were living in some small town in Wisconsin and had a couple of kids.  "You have got to be kidding.  I have to call Joe's house and apologize to Jane?  This is just great!".  I sat there at the computer praying "Lord, please, if this is not you, please let me know now.  Please don't make me do this.  What am I supposed to say?"  Again I heard no response.  I fully believe the Lord would not let me go through with something I had imagined on my own.  He would have intervened.  I took His silence as a green light to make the call.  I prayed for the courage, strength, and words to make the call.
I dialed once, and hung up.  "Last chance Lord".  But still no response.  I sat there for a moment trying to figure out why I had to do this.  It had to be something big.  "Maybe she has cancer or something and she only has a short time to live.  This will bring her peace."  Yes, I admit to these crazy thoughts.  It made me feel better to have a really big reason for this torture.  At the very least, I did feel good about the fact that I would apologize, and so would she, and we would laugh at how we were so immature back then.  It would feel good to have a clean slate.  Looking forward to the relief of clearing the air, I finally had the courage to make the call.

Joe answers.  "Hello?"
 "Hi Joe.  Is Jane there?"
"Just a minute."
"Hello?"
"Hi Jane.  It's me, um, Jenny Houle.  I know we haven't spoken for years, but I just wanted to call you and tell you I am really sorry for the way I treated you in high school.  I said some really mean things, and I am sorry."
long silence......then finally..."Are you in treatment or something?  Are you doing that make amends step or something"
deep breath...thoughts running through my head like "listen you witch, I see you haven't changed one bit so I am retracting my apology and I still think Joe would leave you in a heartbeat if I asked him to!"....but then finally.....
"No Jane.  I am not in treatment.  I can see how you would maybe think that.  I am not trying to freak you out or anything.  I just really felt like I should call you and apologize"  (because I believe you are going to be diagnosed with cancer very soon, and somehow this will make you feel better)
"Humph.  Okay, bye"  and she hangs up.

What?  No return apology?  No, "oh that's okay, we were just kids back then" statements? Are you kidding me Lord?  You knew exactly how this was going to play out, and yet you still had me call her?!  I feel like I hate her all over again!  What in the world has this accomplished?  Now I look like a fool.  She is probably calling everyone right now and telling them what a loser I am!  Oh I hope Joe is defending me and they are fighting right this minute.  She probably won't even tell Joe because she knows he will defend me!  To say that I was unhappy with the outcome of my phone call would be the understatement of the century.
To this day I will think about that phone call and laugh.  I am still not sure why the Lord had me do it.  Maybe it was simply a test of obedience.  Maybe it was a perfect example of dying to myself and humbling myself before the Lord.  Maybe it was simply because I was mean and nasty and really did need to ask for forgiveness.  Maybe my obedience brought our increase in territory.  Maybe my phone call got Jane thinking, and she in turn asked someone else to forgive her for something.  Maybe I simply provided her with a good laugh when she needed it (you know, because of the cancer).  Whatever the reason is doesn't matter.  I know without a doubt I heard and obeyed the Lord, and that is good enough for me.  Besides, it does make for a great story don't you think?