Good Morning Girls!  I am having trouble writing today...partly because I am torn.  For the last three weeks, every time I have written, it has been about my dad.  The time I spent writing was very healing for me.  It helped me organize my thoughts.  It helped me work through some things.  It helped me realize that I am going to be okay.
Towards the end of last week, I began feeling like it was time to move forward.  It was time to work on a personal goal.  As much as I feel it is time, it also brings up some feelings.  In a way it feels like if I move forward, I have left my dad behind.  I am suddenly one of the other thousands of people I have seen at Target and other places, who are going on with their lives like nothing has changed.  If I quit writing about my dad, does that mean I am "over it"?
Now I know in my heart this is not true.  I know that my dad will be on my heart every day.  My life will never be the same.  But then again, our lives are never the same no matter what happens.  Whatever you experience today is going to change your life tomorrow.  Sometimes it is huge, and noticeable.  Sometimes it is small, and seemingly insignificant.  The way a check out girl treats you.  A look you receive from a stranger.  A comment you over hear.  Whether you realize it or not, every experience you have changes your life.  It shapes who you are.  It influences your decisions.  It determines how you live.  It strengthens your faith.  Or, it weakens your faith......if you let it.
Before we move on, I would like to talk about what I believe is one of the main reasons we allow life changing events to weaken our faith instead of strengthen it.  I will call it the Surprise Factor.  It occurs when something that we believe is "bad" happens in our life.  Whether it is a long process, or happens suddenly, we have a problem when things don't go the way we think they should.  When things don't go according to plan.  But who's plan are we talking about?  Usually, when things don't go according to our plan, we look up to God and start asking questions.  "How could this happen?"  "Why did this happen?".  "Why didn't you stop this?"  "Haven't I done everything you asked me to?"  "How can I change this?"  We've all asked these kinds of questions.  Chances are, you've never received an answer.  An answer that changes the situation anyway.  Usually the answer we get changes our heart.  Changes our ability to accept what has happened.  Changes our thoughts by taking them off of ourselves, and back on the Lords goodness and faithfulness.
This process...the process of moving from questioning God to accepting and seeing Gods goodness can take time.  It can take minutes, or it can take days, weeks, years.  Some people never get there.  They are the ones who lose their faith when they spend too much time trying to figure out the "Why's", instead of looking to God for the "What next's?".  They are the ones walking around angry at the very One who can heal them.  They are the ones we come across that say things such as "If there is a God, how can there be so much suffering in the world."  They are the ones who feel personally burned by once having believed.
I spent a little time in this place.  The "Hey...this isn't what I signed up for" place.  But the truth is....it is what I signed up for.  It is exactly what I signed up for.  God is not a God of negative surprises.  He delights in surprising us with blessings.  He does not delight in the surprises that bring us sorrow and suffering.  That is why He tells us in so many places in his Word that we will have hard times.  We will suffer.  We will feel hurt, pain, doubt, and frustration.  He tells us these things so we will not huff and puff and cry "How could this happen!"  "Life is supposed to be good when we have faith!"  Well, it is good.  Just not always in the way we think it will be good. 
God tells us throughout the New Testament that we will face trials.  He also tells us each time why it is good for us.  I believe Him.  Do you? 
Don't waste another day trying to figure out the "Why's".  Spend today thinking about the blessings that are to come.  It will change your life.  It will strengthen your faith.  It will increase your ministry.  It will bring you closer to Him!

1 Peter 4:12-13Dear friends, don't be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you.  Instead, be very glad- for these trials make you partners with Christ in his suffering, so that you will have the wonderful joy of seeing his glory when it is revealed to all the world.

Love, thanks, and blessings to you all-
Jen

So I am giving you all a heads up today, that I will be moving on with a new topic tomorrow.  You guessed it, I will writing about goals.  And I might as well tell you right now, it is a weight loss goal.  Well, more of a "get rid of all the bad habits you let back into your life goal", but by doing so, I will return back to my normal weight.  Now I never thought in a million years I would be back on a "Diet".  Then again, I never thought I would spend 3 weeks eating anything I could cover with almond bark!  It was not pretty.