The Stupid Roast and The Comfort Zone
Good Morning Girls! So I know that I was all excited about looking at our words and had all these little assignments, but you know how I am.....I get all excited about something one day and feel like that is the direction we are heading, and then something else comes along and takes me in a totally different direction. This time, the something was a stupid roast. If you didn't read it already, please go back and read the previous post, as today will make more sense.
So yesterday was stupid roast day. Ever since my mom told me my dad had picked out the roast, with the intention of having my family over for dinner, I have been teeter-tottering with my emotions. I could have very easily toppled over on the side of misery and depression. However, when I felt that coming on, I teetered over to busying myself with good works as it tells us to in the Bible. The best way for me not to break down, was to not go there. In my mind, or in my heart. I purposed to stay strong. I did this mainly by working out like a freak. I ran. I biked. I lifted weights. I ran some more. I even woke up at 6:30 Sunday morning and went running before church.....a definite first. By the time I was done, my legs hurt so bad I could hardly bend down to pick up my water bottle.
So we went to moms house. We sat down to eat. Tom prayed over dinner.....not mentioning my dad at all. I don't know if it was intentional, or if it never entered his mind. In my dramatic mind I imagined thanking dad for the dinner, but that surely would have been a mood breaker. I wasn't one bit hungry. My mom and I looked at each other and both had tears in our eyes. We both sucked it up and fixed our plates. I shut down, and I ate. I didn't look at my mom the rest of the meal. I put the food in my mouth. I chewed it. Swallowed it. But I didn't taste it. I had turned off all of my senses. I couldn't wait for it to be done. The whole time I sat there thinking "this whole thing.....my dad being gone.....is so.....so.....stupid". Yeah, how's that for eloquent words. All I can think of is how stupid it all is. If I sit in the "stupid" place in my mind, I feel myself tottering over to sadness, so once again, I busy myself, either my mind, or my body, with a distraction. Anything to put my heart at ease.
It reminds me of Pastor Jim's message yesterday. How we as Christians have turned our faith into a practice of comfort. How our prayers focus on things to make us more comfortable. We ask for more provision, better health, improved relationships, security. There is nothing wrong with these requests, it is just that they all seem to focus on ourselves, and making our life easier....more comfortable. It's true. Yes, we pray for others. Yes, we give to others. Yes, we want others to be safe, happy, healthy, and saved. We want them to be comfortable.....just like us.
When something happens that pulls us out of our comfort zone, our first reaction is to get ourselves back to it, as quickly and as painlessly as possible. It is our very human nature. We spend so much time in all of our different comfort zones, that it becomes increasingly difficult to do anything outside of them. Suddenly anything outside of our normal routine is uncomfortable, and we stop stepping out of them altogether. It can be something as simple as taking a new group fitness class, or something as big as a career change. We start saying things like "I could never do that" or "That's just not me". If we were honest with ourselves we would simply say "That is outside my comfort zone....and I am afraid (and maybe even a little bit too lazy) to step out of it".
Here's the good news. We don't have to live a life of comfort all the time . We can purpose to step outside our comfort zone. We can take a chance, a risk, a step of faith, and do something outside of our usual routine. So what if you try a new workout and you get lost and feel like a dork....is that really the end of the world? So what if you ask someone to church and they say no....does that mean you are an idiot for trying to lead them to the Lord and save their soul? What if I let myself feel the full extent of my loss and sob hysterically for a moment....isn't that better than hardening my heart to the point where I feel nothing, because nothing is my new comfort zone? I don't know.....I kind of feel like making uncomfortable my new comfortable. What do you think.....care to join me?
Try to do one thing today that is outside of your comfort zone. Let me know how it goes!
Acts 4:29 And now, O Lord, hear their threats, (and see us stuck in our comfort zones), and give us, your servants, great boldness in preaching your word.
Love, thanks, and boldness to you all-
Jen
So yesterday was stupid roast day. Ever since my mom told me my dad had picked out the roast, with the intention of having my family over for dinner, I have been teeter-tottering with my emotions. I could have very easily toppled over on the side of misery and depression. However, when I felt that coming on, I teetered over to busying myself with good works as it tells us to in the Bible. The best way for me not to break down, was to not go there. In my mind, or in my heart. I purposed to stay strong. I did this mainly by working out like a freak. I ran. I biked. I lifted weights. I ran some more. I even woke up at 6:30 Sunday morning and went running before church.....a definite first. By the time I was done, my legs hurt so bad I could hardly bend down to pick up my water bottle.
So we went to moms house. We sat down to eat. Tom prayed over dinner.....not mentioning my dad at all. I don't know if it was intentional, or if it never entered his mind. In my dramatic mind I imagined thanking dad for the dinner, but that surely would have been a mood breaker. I wasn't one bit hungry. My mom and I looked at each other and both had tears in our eyes. We both sucked it up and fixed our plates. I shut down, and I ate. I didn't look at my mom the rest of the meal. I put the food in my mouth. I chewed it. Swallowed it. But I didn't taste it. I had turned off all of my senses. I couldn't wait for it to be done. The whole time I sat there thinking "this whole thing.....my dad being gone.....is so.....so.....stupid". Yeah, how's that for eloquent words. All I can think of is how stupid it all is. If I sit in the "stupid" place in my mind, I feel myself tottering over to sadness, so once again, I busy myself, either my mind, or my body, with a distraction. Anything to put my heart at ease.
It reminds me of Pastor Jim's message yesterday. How we as Christians have turned our faith into a practice of comfort. How our prayers focus on things to make us more comfortable. We ask for more provision, better health, improved relationships, security. There is nothing wrong with these requests, it is just that they all seem to focus on ourselves, and making our life easier....more comfortable. It's true. Yes, we pray for others. Yes, we give to others. Yes, we want others to be safe, happy, healthy, and saved. We want them to be comfortable.....just like us.
When something happens that pulls us out of our comfort zone, our first reaction is to get ourselves back to it, as quickly and as painlessly as possible. It is our very human nature. We spend so much time in all of our different comfort zones, that it becomes increasingly difficult to do anything outside of them. Suddenly anything outside of our normal routine is uncomfortable, and we stop stepping out of them altogether. It can be something as simple as taking a new group fitness class, or something as big as a career change. We start saying things like "I could never do that" or "That's just not me". If we were honest with ourselves we would simply say "That is outside my comfort zone....and I am afraid (and maybe even a little bit too lazy) to step out of it".
Here's the good news. We don't have to live a life of comfort all the time . We can purpose to step outside our comfort zone. We can take a chance, a risk, a step of faith, and do something outside of our usual routine. So what if you try a new workout and you get lost and feel like a dork....is that really the end of the world? So what if you ask someone to church and they say no....does that mean you are an idiot for trying to lead them to the Lord and save their soul? What if I let myself feel the full extent of my loss and sob hysterically for a moment....isn't that better than hardening my heart to the point where I feel nothing, because nothing is my new comfort zone? I don't know.....I kind of feel like making uncomfortable my new comfortable. What do you think.....care to join me?
Try to do one thing today that is outside of your comfort zone. Let me know how it goes!
Acts 4:29 And now, O Lord, hear their threats, (and see us stuck in our comfort zones), and give us, your servants, great boldness in preaching your word.
Love, thanks, and boldness to you all-
Jen
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