Good Afternoon Girls!  Well, here I am sitting in Barnes and Noble pretending to be a “real writer”.   Usually I like to look around at the other people on their laptops and guess what they are working on.  Are they a college student?  A business man preparing for a big presentation? A stay at home mom updating her status on facebook?  Or maybe they are working on the next National Best Seller….right before my very eyes.  Everyone here has a story….but will we ever hear it?

 Many of you have read my story…..my ongoing story.  Today I was blessed with the honor and privilege of teaching at HomeMakers again.  Of sharing a little more of “my story”.  It was kind of a big deal for me.  It was the first time I stepped on the platform without Renee’s stamp of approval.  Usually I read her my teaching, word for word, and wait to hear those words of blessing and encouragement….letting me know I am good to go.  However, with Renee still in Israel, today I was on my own…….and I didn’t like it!

I felt like a little kid.  Insecure.  Unsure.  Desperately praying that I “got it right” and was following the leading of that still small voice (which is hard to hear sometimes….especially over the sounds of a 5 and 7 year old).  I spent the last couple of days fighting the thoughts in my head.  The thoughts that said “you are about to fall flat on your face”.  It is funny how I say God gets the Glory….and the criticism.  However, it doesn’t seem to play out that way in my head.  If I “get it right” Praise the Lord.  If I don’t….well then shame on me.

Praise the Lord…..He carried me through again!  Afterwards a few Girls shared some of the dreams that are stirring in their hearts.  I think what struck me the most is how all of us, are still just as childlike as we are grown up.  We all want to “do something” and “be someone”.  And even though on one hand it is simply a privilege to be a child of the Most High God, we still desperately want to “be more” and “do more”.  I believe part of it is simply human nature.  I believe the bigger part, for me, and the Girls I talked to today, is the fact that the Lord has changed our lives so much, we have this desire….this need even, to share this Great Love with others.  This need to connect with others….To be able to share “our story” drives us to be something more than what we are.

It isn’t always easy walking out the dreams we have in our hearts.  It takes guts.  It takes a thick skin.  It also takes a lot of encouragement from the Girls it has pleased the Lord to put in your life!  I look forward to the day I grow up and become less dependent on the feedback and approval of others.  The day when I can “do it unto the Lord” in a way that even if not one person gives me a word of encouragement, I can walk in confidence that I said or did whatever it was the Lord wanted me to say or do.

Until that day arrives, I thank God for those of you who have prayed for me, or offered me a word of encouragement.  It is a blessing and honor to stand beside you all and dream.  Not only do I daydream about my dreams coming true…..I can now daydream about yours as well!  I am excited for the testimonies that are in process right now, this very minute!  I am excited for us to laugh together some day soon and say “who would have thought”……..Praise God for He is the Who.  The only Who who would of thought to take a “beautiful mess” like me……and turn her into a message!

Love and dreams to you all,

Jen

ps I'm trying to look mysterious.....like a brooding writer.....I don't think it's working though.  It's hard to "brood" with the light of the Lord inside of you!  Maybe I should trade my pink lip gloss in for black.........