Good Afternoon Girls!  My last entry was on Thursday.  It was one of those “work in progress” entries.  By that I mean I was sharing with you all where I was at…….and that I was still not on the other side yet.  Most times I write to you when I am on the other side, so I can claim my victory, give God the glory, and encourage you all.  But every once in a while a Girls gotta confess when she is still stuck in the midst of it.  And that was the case on Thursday.

I was hoping that simply writing the blog would pull me through, as it often does.  But it didn’t.  I had left you all with Proverbs 14:13 Laughter can conceal a heavy heart.  And it does.  However, I left off the rest of the verse.  I left it off on purpose, hoping I could ignore it.  Hoping that by sticking with the laughter, I would get out of the pit quickly, without any additional pain.  But who am I that I can escape the Word, for it is Truth.

So here is the complete verse. Proverbs 14:13 Laughter can conceal a heavy heart, but when the laughter ends, the grief remains.  And it’s true.  I can escape in laughter all I want, but the grief is still there…..waiting for me to deal with it.  So that’s what I am doing.  I am trying to deal with it.  I don’t know how exactly, other than one day at a time.  Last week was especially hard for me.  We sold my dad’s boat and watching it being driven out of their garage by someone else was a feeling I cannot describe.  Though it made no sense for us to keep it, I wanted to.  I wanted to keep it there, in the spot it has always been.  In the spot I thought it would have been for many more years.  But it’s gone.  And there is now an empty garage stall……similar to the empty spot in my heart.

But just as the garage stall will undoubtedly fill, so will my heart.  I do believe that.  It will fill with cherished memories.  It will fill with the thoughts of what dad’s life is like in heaven.  It will fill with the love so many others are giving me.  It will fill with love from the Lord.  I believe all of that.  But right now, today, it still feels like an empty garage stall.

I haven’t written because I hate to be a “downer”.  I have always felt it was my job to be the one to encourage you Girls in your struggles.  But that is just a silly form of pride.  I was reminded by a dear friend whom I respect, love, and trust, that the reason you all read me is not because I am perfect…..but because I am real.  And just like I believe real women eat cake……I also believe real women sometimes fall apart and find themselves at the bottom of a grief pile.  And though I am slowly working my way out of it……I am not yet there.  Some days are harder than others, but at the end of each day the Lord is still on the throne….ordering my steps…..and healing my heart.  And the one thing we have all learned about being real women is that we get back up, matter how many times we may fall!

So Girls, I am back.  I am back to encourage you all in your faith……but I am also back so I can be encouraged by all of yours!  Write you soon……

Romans 1:12  When we get together, I want to encourage you in your faith, but I also want to be encouraged by yours.

Love and thanks to you all-

Jen