Good Morning Girls! I received a few responses to yesterday’s blog that confirmed what my friend had told me earlier in the day. And that is, that you like me to write not only of my areas of victory, but also my areas of weakness as well. There were a few different reasons you shared with me as to why you like it when I share my struggles.
For some of you, it helps you put your own problems into perspective. Yep- there is nothing like sounding so pathetic that others read and think “Well…at least I am not her”. Oh…. I am just teasing. I know exactly what you mean when you say that! It did make me laugh though (which is a good thing).
Another Girl brought up the point that if you don’t know when I am struggling, you don’t know when to pray. I think that is a very good point for all of us. If we do not share our burdens with others, we have to carry them alone, and sometimes that is simply too much. Now we don’t need to share every little thing with everyone; but when we find ourselves slipping into the pit, well, there is no reason we need to go it alone. Especially not when we have such an arsenal of awesome Girls to help us out! So thank you for that reminder as well.
The final response suggested that if I only reported when I am strong in my faith, the rest of you would feel like there is something wrong with you- as everyone struggles from time to time. She was right. As I said yesterday, me feeling like I should only write when I am strong is simply a form of pride. Though I do suspect that if I never got out of my funk, you would lose interest. Kind of like how I feel about a lot of Independent films…..Two hours of intense drama followed by an ending where the bad guys win and justice is not served, is not my idea of an uplifting escape!
Yes, it does make us feel better to know that the things we struggle with don’t come easily for everyone else, all the time. When everyone else “passes the test” and we are still sitting in detention taking it for the umpteenth time, we start to wonder “What is wrong with me?”! We’ve all been there. We’ve all watched others breeze through things that continue to trip us up. We’ve all felt left behind, like we will never catch up. But we will….when we are ready.
So today I am writing you from detention. It is the sugar free detention room I am in today. During last weeks’ emotional breakdown, I turned to my old comfort…..sugar. I fell so far off the sugar free wagon that I cannot even find my wagon! So here I sit, with puffy eyes, and a foggy head, knowing what I have got to do……but wondering when and how. It makes sense that I would start fresh today, rather than spend another few nights with the frogs, but here’s the deal- I am going to Wisconsin Dells in a week with the kids……is it possible that I can be with 4 kids for 2 nights and not break down? “Sure it is” says my confident side. “Just wait until the Monday after Easter” says the part of me that is dreading starting over again. As I write to you this morning I will honestly tell you that I am not sure which side I will listen to. I still plan on doing my 40 days. I just don’t know if today is day 1 or not. How’s that for decisiveness!
For those of you who wonder why it is that you know what you need to do….but struggle with actually doing it……now you know, you are not alone!

Philippians 3:12 I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me.

Love, thanks, and decisiveness to you all,
Jen