Good Morning Girls!  My kids, like most kids, love stuffed animals.  They have more stuffed animals than they will ever need……though they don’t seem to think so.  Sometimes I think the animals come to life at night and multiply because I have not bought a stuffed animal in years, yet the kids seem to have more and more each day.

A month ago Tom was away on business, and as usual, brought the kids back a little gift.  This time it was…..you guessed it…..a stuffed animal for each of them.  They were beanie babies.  Charley got a dog named Sidekick, and Thomas got a cat named Silver.  They were very excited.  Sidekick was properly named, as Charley brought him everywhere with her.  He was her new favorite.  He was the favorite for a few reasons: her daddy bought him, his nose was a little deformed (which she loved) and, he was the new toy on the block.

One day last week Charley got off the bus looking like she was holding back tears.  When I asked her what was wrong she said “I lost Sidekick.  I put him at the bottom of my bag this morning, but when I got on the bus, he wasn’t there.”  I suggested that perhaps she was thinking of a different morning and she really did not pack him that day, but she recited the whole morning’s events, and had me convinced that she had in fact packed him, and he was in fact, lost.

And so began the search for Sidekick.  We looked everywhere inside and outside the house.  We emptied her bag multiple times.  We looked in places she had not even been with him.  She did okay during the day, but at bedtime a whole dramatic production would unfold.  I was filled with compassion the first couple of nights, but after a few days of this, I was done.  “It’s just a stuffed animal…..go to bed already!”  I wanted to scream……but I didn’t.  I also did give her much sympathy.  “I’m sorry honey.  Now go to bed” is pretty much all she got from me.  Each night I heard about it a little less.

Two nights ago however, the mother of all meltdowns occurred.  She was sobbing and I could not console her.  I said “let’s pray”, and I asked God to lead us to Sidekick.  I also prayed that if Sidekick could not be found He would heal our hearts so we would not be so sad.  I thought that would make her feel better.  Charley’s response to my heartfelt prayer was this: “Mom, I have prayed every night harder than I have ever prayed before.  He never answers me.  It’s like I don’t even know if I believe in God so much anymore because I tell him how much I loved Sidekick and how I would trade every single toy for him.  I would even give up my birthday and Christmas for him.  But God doesn’t answer me.”  And the tears resumed in full force.

So I did what every strong woman of God did.  I panicked, left the room, and got re-enforcement in the form of dad.  I had no idea what to say.  I thought about how I used to feel (and occasionally still feel) when it seems like God isn’t answering my prayers.  How I felt like maybe He wasn’t hearing me.  Or maybe He didn’t think it was important enough.  Or maybe I wasn’t important enough.  After Tom talked to her, I tried to talk to her about how sometimes it feels like God isn’t answering us, but He is.  We just have to trust Him, that he knows what is best for us. My very logical daughter replied “and how is not bringing Sidekick back to me, best for me?”  “I don’t know sweetie.  I don’t know.  But God knows.  And maybe someday we will find out why.”

I finally had her calmed down enough where I felt it okay to say good night.  I walked out of her room and checked on Thomas, who was sound asleep.  I walked back into the hallway, and I stopped.  I could hear Charley talking and thought she was calling for me again.  As I got to her door I stopped and listened for a moment.  “God, I am asking again.  Please bring Sidekick back to me.  I will trade all of my toys….even my DS for him.  God, I have looked everywhere.  You really need to help me on this one.  I don’t understand why you are not answering me.  Are you really there?”  My heart was breaking.  I started to feel a little irritated.  “Is it too much to ask to have you help us find the stupid dog Lord?  I understand how this works.  My faith is not moved by the loss of a stuffed animal, but Charley is seven.  Are you really going to let her lose faith in you over a dog?!”  I knew I wasn’t thinking rationally….but hey, I’m a mom, and sometimes that’s the way it goes.  I spent another 30 minutes praying in the Spirit and searching the house for the dog.  I felt helpless and frustrated.  I felt just like Steve Carrel in Evan Almighty.  You know, the part where he is standing on the ark and everyone is staring at him and he yells to God “is it too much to ask for a little precipitation here!!!”  At least the thought of that made me laugh as I searched.  I gave up and went to bed.  I admit, I really wanted to have us a beanie baby miracle.  I went to bed saying “I trust Him……I trust Him……He knows what’s best……” I could not let this beanie shake my faith.  I had faith.  I believed.  I just knew I would find Sidekick in the morning.  After all, God delights in the details, right?

And faithful as ever, God answered our prayers!  No, He did not bring Sidekick back.  But He did heal Charley’s heart.  By the time she went to bed last night there was a new beanie in town….Spotty the Dalmatian.  She hasn’t played with him in months, but last night she dug him out.  As I tucked her in she said “Sidekick was sure a good dog”.  “Oh Charley, don’t start going there again.”  “I’m not mom.  I’m just saying- he was a good dog.”  She laid down and snuggled up with Spotty.  This morning, was the first morning in a week that the first words out of her mouth were not “I miss Sidekick”.  She was smiling and carrying Spotty with her.  Praise the Lord!

So Girls, if you are in need of a beanie baby miracle, please remember: God may not answer our prayers the way we want him to, but he is faithful!  He hears our prayers!  And He truly knows what is best for us.  And though we may not always understand the way He does things, trust in Him!  He will not disappoint!

Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart; and do not depend on your own understanding

 Love, faith, and His unfailing love to you all,

Jen