Reward System
Hey Girls! Most people are motivated by some type of reward system. Rewards come in many forms. For example; money, recognition, status, growth. We do certain activities with the expectation of a certain response or reward. The reward system is a good thing in many ways- otherwise, can you honestly say you would be sitting at your desk right now dealing with whatever you are dealing with? Didn't think so....
However, there are times when being motivated on a reward system is not good. Dealing with people for example. It is not good to do things for people with the expectation that you will get something in return- especially if you are trying to manipulate or change someone. Your actions cannot produce a predictable response in others (except maybe anger). I know you know what I am talking about. Who hasn't at one point or another tried to change at least one thing about their man? And how did that work for you?
Now let's not confuse that with our witness. I do believe we can bring about change in those we love by living our life as a testimony. If we continue to love on those around us and give them unconditional support and love, we just may win them over to the Lord. However, there is no guarantee we will see it.
So what does this have to do with goals and resolutions? Well there are times when I believe it is better to choose a goal that is not based on an expected outcome. The reason being there are too many times when the outcome is out of our control.
Let's take weight loss for example. Science tells us that you need to create a deficit of 3500 calories per pound of weight loss. This is a generally accepted theory in the fitness world. However, how many of you have counted your calories and done your workouts only to weigh in and end up in tears and frustration. You may have generated a 7000 calories, 2 pound weight loss, however, the scale reflects no change....or worse.......a weight gain! Nothing sends me running to a pint of ice cream like a weigh in gone bad!
How can this happen if they have scientifically proven the calorie deficit per pound ratio? Simple. They generated these results in a controlled environment. However, put them into personal practice and in enters all sort of variables that are out of your control. Variables such as hormones, water retention, stress, toxins, and muscle mass, are just a few of the factors that can interfere with science.
Does this mean you should never bother trying to lose weight? Does this mean counting calories never works? No. There are times, especially when you are learning proper portions and just how many calories certain foods have that counting your calories is beneficial. Many people are shocked to discover they eat twice as much or more than their bodies need in a day. And for the most part it is a proven method as long as you do not weigh in every week with a certain expectation. You need to trust that over time it will even out.
I have plenty of calorie counting and weigh-in stories....most of them traumatic. I have learned a few things about what works best for me in the long run, both physically and emotionally. The first thing I did was sell my scale in the garage sale I had last year. I felt a little guilty selling it- like maybe I should have just thrown it away rather than sell the medieval torture device to some other woman who will undoubtedly step on it cry and run for the Oreos....but hey- a buck is a buck right? Nice........
The other thing I've learned is to have a reward in mind that is guaranteed. For example, I do not know what results doing p90x will bring me, but I will feel a great sense of accomplishment in doing it. In the past I would expect to look like the people on the infomercial. When that did not happen, I would again run for the ice cream (see how fragile I am?). This year I am going into it looking forward to the reward of feeling like I did something many people will never do, and believing that I am improving myself in some way (oh please Lord let me look like the infomercial girl). Ha- I am hopeless at times......
Your goal is to love your hubby better? Great! Just don't expect him to take notice and change the things that bug you the most. Your goal is to be more patient with your children? Great! Just don't expect them to look at you one day and say "mommy, I have noticed that you do not yell as quickly as you did in 2010. thank you. you are the best mommy!". Your goal is to lose weight? Great! Just don't expect to get on the scale and have an 8 pound weight loss each week...unless you are at the Biggest Loser Ranch!
So why bother doing these things if there is no guarantee? You do them because they are the right things to do. It is good to be nice to your hubby. It is good to stop yelling at your children (I know, bummer right?). It is good to take care of your body. You set these goals and you do them because they are good for you. They will improve your quality of life. And in the end you will be rewarded!!!!
Isaiah 49:4 I replied, "but my work seems so useless! I have spent my strength for nothing and to no purpose. Yet I leave it all in the Lord's hand; I will trust God for my reward!"
Love, patience, and Godly rewards to you all,
Jen
However, there are times when being motivated on a reward system is not good. Dealing with people for example. It is not good to do things for people with the expectation that you will get something in return- especially if you are trying to manipulate or change someone. Your actions cannot produce a predictable response in others (except maybe anger). I know you know what I am talking about. Who hasn't at one point or another tried to change at least one thing about their man? And how did that work for you?
Now let's not confuse that with our witness. I do believe we can bring about change in those we love by living our life as a testimony. If we continue to love on those around us and give them unconditional support and love, we just may win them over to the Lord. However, there is no guarantee we will see it.
So what does this have to do with goals and resolutions? Well there are times when I believe it is better to choose a goal that is not based on an expected outcome. The reason being there are too many times when the outcome is out of our control.
Let's take weight loss for example. Science tells us that you need to create a deficit of 3500 calories per pound of weight loss. This is a generally accepted theory in the fitness world. However, how many of you have counted your calories and done your workouts only to weigh in and end up in tears and frustration. You may have generated a 7000 calories, 2 pound weight loss, however, the scale reflects no change....or worse.......a weight gain! Nothing sends me running to a pint of ice cream like a weigh in gone bad!
How can this happen if they have scientifically proven the calorie deficit per pound ratio? Simple. They generated these results in a controlled environment. However, put them into personal practice and in enters all sort of variables that are out of your control. Variables such as hormones, water retention, stress, toxins, and muscle mass, are just a few of the factors that can interfere with science.
Does this mean you should never bother trying to lose weight? Does this mean counting calories never works? No. There are times, especially when you are learning proper portions and just how many calories certain foods have that counting your calories is beneficial. Many people are shocked to discover they eat twice as much or more than their bodies need in a day. And for the most part it is a proven method as long as you do not weigh in every week with a certain expectation. You need to trust that over time it will even out.
I have plenty of calorie counting and weigh-in stories....most of them traumatic. I have learned a few things about what works best for me in the long run, both physically and emotionally. The first thing I did was sell my scale in the garage sale I had last year. I felt a little guilty selling it- like maybe I should have just thrown it away rather than sell the medieval torture device to some other woman who will undoubtedly step on it cry and run for the Oreos....but hey- a buck is a buck right? Nice........
The other thing I've learned is to have a reward in mind that is guaranteed. For example, I do not know what results doing p90x will bring me, but I will feel a great sense of accomplishment in doing it. In the past I would expect to look like the people on the infomercial. When that did not happen, I would again run for the ice cream (see how fragile I am?). This year I am going into it looking forward to the reward of feeling like I did something many people will never do, and believing that I am improving myself in some way (oh please Lord let me look like the infomercial girl). Ha- I am hopeless at times......
Your goal is to love your hubby better? Great! Just don't expect him to take notice and change the things that bug you the most. Your goal is to be more patient with your children? Great! Just don't expect them to look at you one day and say "mommy, I have noticed that you do not yell as quickly as you did in 2010. thank you. you are the best mommy!". Your goal is to lose weight? Great! Just don't expect to get on the scale and have an 8 pound weight loss each week...unless you are at the Biggest Loser Ranch!
So why bother doing these things if there is no guarantee? You do them because they are the right things to do. It is good to be nice to your hubby. It is good to stop yelling at your children (I know, bummer right?). It is good to take care of your body. You set these goals and you do them because they are good for you. They will improve your quality of life. And in the end you will be rewarded!!!!
Isaiah 49:4 I replied, "but my work seems so useless! I have spent my strength for nothing and to no purpose. Yet I leave it all in the Lord's hand; I will trust God for my reward!"
Love, patience, and Godly rewards to you all,
Jen
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