Peek a Boo?
Good Morning Girls! Friday I told you all that my decision to renew my website was a faith move. It had come up for renewal and for the last month I debated about whether or not to pay for its renewal. I debated for so long because I wasn't sure if I was ever going to return to my writing.
There were many factors contributing to this doubt and constant debating. On Friday night I was chatting with a few of my Girls, and I shared with them that my Bible time had been really flat lately. I told them how I would ask the Lord what I should study and hear nothing. I talked about how when I did read it would be like I was reading a textbook- flat and no life. There was no revelation. No explanation. And ultimately no motivation.
I confessed that I hadn't even attempted to read my Bible in over a week. I was still getting the Word. I have been watching Joel, and Joseph Prince, and podcasts from our church. I was being spoon fed by others, rather than feeding myself. I had pretty much shrugged it off thinking "well I guess that season of my life is over". After all, I was now a working Girl again. I guess the writing torch will be passed on to someone else who has the time and the anointing. It hurt. It didn't make sense. However, not many things in my life make sense right now so I went into my teenage "whatever" mode and didn't waste my time trying anymore.
Ohhhhh but Girls.....God is faithful! God is good! I woke up Saturday morning and grabbed my Bible and sat down. I read 12 verses. They were verses I have read and heard about many many many times. However, on Saturday morning every single verse popped out at me with a little a-ha moment! It came to life. It spoke to me. I was able to relate to my current life and circumstance. I felt like I used to feel in my morning Bible time........and it felt good!
I believe I was rewarded for my faith move on Friday! But here's the deal.....and this is where we sometimes get it all messed up in our head- GOD WAS NOT PREVIOUSLY HOLDING BACK ON ME! He was not withholding revelation or comfort or wisdom or discernment. He was not talking the month off to decide if I was still "usable". He was not testing me to see if I would remain faithful when he hid himself from me. He was not waiting for me to get it right....to make a faith move.....before He revealed himself to me!
NO! God was with me all along. I was the one who had lost my confidence, my drive, my priorities. My faith move stirred up ME , not God! He was simply waiting for me when I got back from my "who am I and where do I fit in" vacation from hell. He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. He does not play peek-a-boo or hide and seek. If He did it would be like how a one year old plays- you know where they cover their eyes and then think you cannot see them because they cannot see you even though they are standing right in front of you!
Yeah, that is how it is in a way. He is standing right before us, and in a way He does have his hands over his eyes and doesn't see us. He doesn't see our faults, our wavering, our doubt. He sees us as perfect and right every day! Even when we are at our worst, God sees us as his perfect child. The question is, do we let him see us as his perfect child or do we tell him all the reasons why we should be put up for adoption? I tell you what Girls, as soon as we hint towards being put up for adoption, the devil is there willing to take us home with him......and sometimes it happens so fast we do not realize it until our life is upside down and chaotic. We look to heaven and say "God where are you? Where did you go? Why did you abandon me?". Truth is, he has been there all along.....and he is glad to see us return....every single time!
So Girls....I again encourage you all to make a move of faith. Not so you can stir up God.....but so you can stir up yourself! God is there....ready when you are.......cheering you on!
Hebrews 10:23 NLT Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promises.
Love, thanks, and a peek a boo free day to you all-
Jen
There were many factors contributing to this doubt and constant debating. On Friday night I was chatting with a few of my Girls, and I shared with them that my Bible time had been really flat lately. I told them how I would ask the Lord what I should study and hear nothing. I talked about how when I did read it would be like I was reading a textbook- flat and no life. There was no revelation. No explanation. And ultimately no motivation.
I confessed that I hadn't even attempted to read my Bible in over a week. I was still getting the Word. I have been watching Joel, and Joseph Prince, and podcasts from our church. I was being spoon fed by others, rather than feeding myself. I had pretty much shrugged it off thinking "well I guess that season of my life is over". After all, I was now a working Girl again. I guess the writing torch will be passed on to someone else who has the time and the anointing. It hurt. It didn't make sense. However, not many things in my life make sense right now so I went into my teenage "whatever" mode and didn't waste my time trying anymore.
Ohhhhh but Girls.....God is faithful! God is good! I woke up Saturday morning and grabbed my Bible and sat down. I read 12 verses. They were verses I have read and heard about many many many times. However, on Saturday morning every single verse popped out at me with a little a-ha moment! It came to life. It spoke to me. I was able to relate to my current life and circumstance. I felt like I used to feel in my morning Bible time........and it felt good!
I believe I was rewarded for my faith move on Friday! But here's the deal.....and this is where we sometimes get it all messed up in our head- GOD WAS NOT PREVIOUSLY HOLDING BACK ON ME! He was not withholding revelation or comfort or wisdom or discernment. He was not talking the month off to decide if I was still "usable". He was not testing me to see if I would remain faithful when he hid himself from me. He was not waiting for me to get it right....to make a faith move.....before He revealed himself to me!
NO! God was with me all along. I was the one who had lost my confidence, my drive, my priorities. My faith move stirred up ME , not God! He was simply waiting for me when I got back from my "who am I and where do I fit in" vacation from hell. He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. He does not play peek-a-boo or hide and seek. If He did it would be like how a one year old plays- you know where they cover their eyes and then think you cannot see them because they cannot see you even though they are standing right in front of you!
Yeah, that is how it is in a way. He is standing right before us, and in a way He does have his hands over his eyes and doesn't see us. He doesn't see our faults, our wavering, our doubt. He sees us as perfect and right every day! Even when we are at our worst, God sees us as his perfect child. The question is, do we let him see us as his perfect child or do we tell him all the reasons why we should be put up for adoption? I tell you what Girls, as soon as we hint towards being put up for adoption, the devil is there willing to take us home with him......and sometimes it happens so fast we do not realize it until our life is upside down and chaotic. We look to heaven and say "God where are you? Where did you go? Why did you abandon me?". Truth is, he has been there all along.....and he is glad to see us return....every single time!
So Girls....I again encourage you all to make a move of faith. Not so you can stir up God.....but so you can stir up yourself! God is there....ready when you are.......cheering you on!
Hebrews 10:23 NLT Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promises.
Love, thanks, and a peek a boo free day to you all-
Jen
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