Want to Be MY Neighbor?
Good Morning Girls! I walked to the bus top to see my kiddos off to school. When I got there my neighbor was standing with her son. I walked up to her and looked intently at her face. "Wow! Your eyes are puffy. I see you ate too much salt again yesterday. And your skin looks so dull and unhealthy. You better put A LOT of make-up on today!"
She just stood there listening to everything I said.
So I continued. "Looks like the arm flab ain't in a hurry to leave anytime soon. Oh well, who has time to worry about that when you have that disaster of a waistline going on? You may as well quit whatever plan of improvement you are one....and make sure you ask for your money back!"
She just blinked and looked at me.
So I continued. "Turn around. Let's see if there is any redemption to be found in your backside. Nope. Not today. Your back fat is in full bloom and it looks like you actually rubbed a quart of cottage cheese on your legs. Make sure you wear capris today. Be careful of the length of them though- your cankles are flaring up!'
At that point she simply nodded in agreement and said nothing.
The bus came and the kids headed off to school. "Have a great day" I shouted as I waved good-bye to my neighbor, and we went our separate ways.........
Can you imagine that?! Can you imagine saying such cruel things to someone? I sure can't! I would not speak to my worst enemy that way let alone my neighbor.......oh wait......I do speak like that. That verbal lashing that I just spoke of is pretty similar to the one I give myself most mornings. And like the neighbor in my story, I just stand there and listen as I go on and on telling myself how disgusting I am. By the end of this judgement I am nodding in full agreement. Then I proceed to get ready and wonder why I struggle throughout the day........
It says in Galatians 5:14 For the whole law can be summed up in this one command: "Love your neighbor as yourself". When I read that the other day my first thought was "Boy do I pity my neighbor".
It's not easy for me to confess this negative self image I have of myself. I thought myself to be a strong women of God. I thought I had forgiven myself as God has for all of my sins of the my past. I thought I had learned who I was in Christ. I thought I had come to a place of self love and self acceptance.
Turns out that my self love was a conditional love. It was based on my weight. At 139 pounds I am an inspiring woman of God. I am capable of loving and encouraging other women to be their best. I am a writer. I am a teacher. I am ready to serve the Lord.
At 150 pounds I am out of control. I am unworthy. I am selfish. I am jealous. I am unfit. I am bad. I am....I am......quite simply I am crap!
Now when I put this down in writing I see the lies. I know as I know that this is not correct. I know as I know that I am more than a number on the scale. However, as long as the verbal lashings continue in my head, I know that I have not fully come to understand what it means to be a child of the Most High God- and it grieves my heart.
It grieves my heart because I know that this is an everyday occurrence in many a bathroom for many women everywhere. I know that I am the norm rather than the exception when it comes to self loathing and conditional self love. It may not be the extreme that I have suffered over the years, but we all do it to some extent.
And so Girls, I begin a new journey. A journey to find true unconditional love......for myself. A love so real and so deep that you will all want to be my neighbor! And just like so many of my journeys in the past, I am taking you with me......
Galatians 5:14 For the whole law can be summed up in this one command: "Love your neighbor as yourself" (so please, please, please, for your neighbor's sake.....start loving yourselves!!!!)
Courage, strength, grace, and unconditional self love to you all-
Jen
ps I have started praying for all those who are in bondage to their self image and self worth. If you would like to be added to my prayer list please e-mail me at jgilbert2@comcast.net You may give as much or as little details as you would like.
She just stood there listening to everything I said.
So I continued. "Looks like the arm flab ain't in a hurry to leave anytime soon. Oh well, who has time to worry about that when you have that disaster of a waistline going on? You may as well quit whatever plan of improvement you are one....and make sure you ask for your money back!"
She just blinked and looked at me.
So I continued. "Turn around. Let's see if there is any redemption to be found in your backside. Nope. Not today. Your back fat is in full bloom and it looks like you actually rubbed a quart of cottage cheese on your legs. Make sure you wear capris today. Be careful of the length of them though- your cankles are flaring up!'
At that point she simply nodded in agreement and said nothing.
The bus came and the kids headed off to school. "Have a great day" I shouted as I waved good-bye to my neighbor, and we went our separate ways.........
Can you imagine that?! Can you imagine saying such cruel things to someone? I sure can't! I would not speak to my worst enemy that way let alone my neighbor.......oh wait......I do speak like that. That verbal lashing that I just spoke of is pretty similar to the one I give myself most mornings. And like the neighbor in my story, I just stand there and listen as I go on and on telling myself how disgusting I am. By the end of this judgement I am nodding in full agreement. Then I proceed to get ready and wonder why I struggle throughout the day........
It says in Galatians 5:14 For the whole law can be summed up in this one command: "Love your neighbor as yourself". When I read that the other day my first thought was "Boy do I pity my neighbor".
It's not easy for me to confess this negative self image I have of myself. I thought myself to be a strong women of God. I thought I had forgiven myself as God has for all of my sins of the my past. I thought I had learned who I was in Christ. I thought I had come to a place of self love and self acceptance.
Turns out that my self love was a conditional love. It was based on my weight. At 139 pounds I am an inspiring woman of God. I am capable of loving and encouraging other women to be their best. I am a writer. I am a teacher. I am ready to serve the Lord.
At 150 pounds I am out of control. I am unworthy. I am selfish. I am jealous. I am unfit. I am bad. I am....I am......quite simply I am crap!
Now when I put this down in writing I see the lies. I know as I know that this is not correct. I know as I know that I am more than a number on the scale. However, as long as the verbal lashings continue in my head, I know that I have not fully come to understand what it means to be a child of the Most High God- and it grieves my heart.
It grieves my heart because I know that this is an everyday occurrence in many a bathroom for many women everywhere. I know that I am the norm rather than the exception when it comes to self loathing and conditional self love. It may not be the extreme that I have suffered over the years, but we all do it to some extent.
And so Girls, I begin a new journey. A journey to find true unconditional love......for myself. A love so real and so deep that you will all want to be my neighbor! And just like so many of my journeys in the past, I am taking you with me......
Galatians 5:14 For the whole law can be summed up in this one command: "Love your neighbor as yourself" (so please, please, please, for your neighbor's sake.....start loving yourselves!!!!)
Courage, strength, grace, and unconditional self love to you all-
Jen
ps I have started praying for all those who are in bondage to their self image and self worth. If you would like to be added to my prayer list please e-mail me at jgilbert2@comcast.net You may give as much or as little details as you would like.
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