Rule Schmool
Good Morning Girls! Sunday night I over ate. It wasn't an out of control binge or anything. I simply ate too much. And afterwards I felt irritated with myself. Why do I eat overeat? Why is it so hard for me to stop when I have eaten the proper portion size? I know exactly how many calories are in each thing I eat. I know how many calories my body needs in a day. I know when I am going over...yet I still often go over.
I took my dilemma to the Lord. I showed him all the "evidence". I showed my evidence as my plea. My plea for a rule. Just one rule. Surely that is not too much to ask for is it? You see that I obviously need some guidelines here. Give me a rule. Any rule. I will follow it!
Well Praise the Lord he did not treat with like the Israelites begging for rules in the dessert! He could have answered my prayer the way I wanted and I would have been stuck with a new form of bondage and fear of disappointing the Lord!
But he didn't answer me. Not right away that is.
So I gave myself a rule. I decided I should eat only God made foods. (how's that for holy and spiritual) Surely if I were to eat only God made foods my problems would be solved. For one thing, it is difficult to over eat God made foods. Think about it- have you ever sat back in your chair with your hands on your food baby and said "wow! I ate wayyyyyyy to much broccoli" (not unless it was deep fried and dipped in cheese anyway)
I also thought it would solve my "forgetting to pray before meals" problem. I mean surely I would remember to pray for food that directly came from the Lord....right?"
I even solicited help from my nephew in the form of prayer. He is a young man who is strong in his faith and has eaten mainly God made foods for the last 2 years (and as a freshman living in the dorms at the U that is not an easy task!!!)
So I went to bed feeling good about my new rule. No more overeating for me........
My day started out great....until I got hungry. Then I felt myself getting all worked up. What should I eat? Is yogurt God made? I have 6 cups of yogurt that only I eat....I can't throw it away. Great...now what am I going to do with this hummus? Wait....is it God made if the ingredients in it are all God made but someone had to put them together? Okay....there are a few books written on God made foods. I will have to pick one up today so I know that I am doing this "right".
As the day went on I lost my conviction to get the God made food book and chew on turnip roots all day. I ate what I believed my body wanted (and to my surprise it passed on the McDonald's cone that has become a habit after every ball game). I went to bed feeling good about my day. Sure, there was probably no nutritional value in the handful of Sun Chips I ate with my son but hey- that's what happens when the Lord refuses to give me a rule- Lol!
This morning in my prayer and Bible time the Lord answered my request for a rule. No, he didn't give me a rule. Instead he spoke to my heart as to why he did not (and will not) give me a rule. It was something like this:
"When I say everything is permissable, I mean it. Everything is permissable. You think you need a rule to stay in control and exercise your discipline. However, that is not true self control. That is simply obedience to a rule. True self control is having permission to do whatever you want, and still choosing what is best for you."
So, when I say no to treats and stuff just because I know I should say no....not because there is a rule....THEN I will have developed self control?
"No. You still do not understand. I never said you should not eat treats! You are the one who has decided that all treats are "bad". Everything is permissable. I am never going to give you a rule! I am never going to tell you to give up something. I am never going to give you a list of foods you can or cannot have. You have been told no your whole life. (my first diet was given to me at 4 months of age. my mother was told to only give me green vegetables and meats as baby foods because I was too chubby.......helllllloooooo? Can you say MESSED UP!!!)"
Hhhhmmmmmmm..........So let me get this straight. You are telling me that self control and giving up sugar are two separate things?
"Yes".
You are telling me that true self control and discipline is developed in it's truest form in an environment where there are no rules?
"Yes"
You are telling me that if I allow myself anything, but in my heart I truly want to do what is best for my body, I will learn to eat in a healthy way?
"Yes"
Even without any rules?
"Yes"
Without ANY rules?
"Yes"
So the "rule" is there are no rules?
"Yes. How do you feel about that?"
Free........excited......scared.........curious..........
"What are you afraid of?"
That I will eat everything in sight.
"Why would you do that?"
Because that's what I do!!!
"Says who?"
Says me! Says my track record! Says 38 years of dieting and cheating and eating out of control!
"But you had rules then"
So.
"You don't now."
I know! That will make it worse! I have no rules! I will be a mad woman taking fruit snacks out of kids lunches and shoving them in my face!
"Perhaps"
PERHAPS! Is that supposed to make me feel better?! I tell you I am going to run around eating everything in sight and you say PERHAPS!!!
"This is new for you. You have never lived without rules. You will learn. You will learn to allow yourself the freedom you have in me. But you may stumble along the way. But it's okay. It's okay because once you learn how to live healthy without any rules, you will live the life you have always dreamed of living. You will truly be Set Free. Remember, you are not alone. You have help-but you need to seek it and receive it....everyday! Seek the help of the Holy Spirit and you will learn. There is no deadline. This is not a 30 day, 6 week, or 90 day plan. This is life. Your life. The change doesn't come overnight.....but the change does and will come. Do not give up. Do not grow weary. And do not seek out a rule!"
I confess it sounds too good to be true- a life free without rules. I also confess that in the back of my mind I fear I will wake up one morning and the Lord will say "okay now you are ready.....I never want you to eat sugar again". I feel sad at the reality that I can love the Lord so much and say with my whole heart that I trust him...........until food is involved.
I consider deleting the previous confession. My pride tells me that others will think I am crazy. How dare I confess that though I say I trust the Lord I secretly still feel a little leery of this no rule thing. I choose to lay my pride aside as I believe my confession will Set another Fat Girl Free.......(and by fat I mean Fat Thinking)
So here we go.....another piece of the puzzle in place......another step in Setting the Fat Girl Free......deep breath!!!
Galatians 5:22-23 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. there is no law (rule) against these things!
Peace, love, and a rule free day to you all-
Jen
I took my dilemma to the Lord. I showed him all the "evidence". I showed my evidence as my plea. My plea for a rule. Just one rule. Surely that is not too much to ask for is it? You see that I obviously need some guidelines here. Give me a rule. Any rule. I will follow it!
Well Praise the Lord he did not treat with like the Israelites begging for rules in the dessert! He could have answered my prayer the way I wanted and I would have been stuck with a new form of bondage and fear of disappointing the Lord!
But he didn't answer me. Not right away that is.
So I gave myself a rule. I decided I should eat only God made foods. (how's that for holy and spiritual) Surely if I were to eat only God made foods my problems would be solved. For one thing, it is difficult to over eat God made foods. Think about it- have you ever sat back in your chair with your hands on your food baby and said "wow! I ate wayyyyyyy to much broccoli" (not unless it was deep fried and dipped in cheese anyway)
I also thought it would solve my "forgetting to pray before meals" problem. I mean surely I would remember to pray for food that directly came from the Lord....right?"
I even solicited help from my nephew in the form of prayer. He is a young man who is strong in his faith and has eaten mainly God made foods for the last 2 years (and as a freshman living in the dorms at the U that is not an easy task!!!)
So I went to bed feeling good about my new rule. No more overeating for me........
My day started out great....until I got hungry. Then I felt myself getting all worked up. What should I eat? Is yogurt God made? I have 6 cups of yogurt that only I eat....I can't throw it away. Great...now what am I going to do with this hummus? Wait....is it God made if the ingredients in it are all God made but someone had to put them together? Okay....there are a few books written on God made foods. I will have to pick one up today so I know that I am doing this "right".
As the day went on I lost my conviction to get the God made food book and chew on turnip roots all day. I ate what I believed my body wanted (and to my surprise it passed on the McDonald's cone that has become a habit after every ball game). I went to bed feeling good about my day. Sure, there was probably no nutritional value in the handful of Sun Chips I ate with my son but hey- that's what happens when the Lord refuses to give me a rule- Lol!
This morning in my prayer and Bible time the Lord answered my request for a rule. No, he didn't give me a rule. Instead he spoke to my heart as to why he did not (and will not) give me a rule. It was something like this:
"When I say everything is permissable, I mean it. Everything is permissable. You think you need a rule to stay in control and exercise your discipline. However, that is not true self control. That is simply obedience to a rule. True self control is having permission to do whatever you want, and still choosing what is best for you."
So, when I say no to treats and stuff just because I know I should say no....not because there is a rule....THEN I will have developed self control?
"No. You still do not understand. I never said you should not eat treats! You are the one who has decided that all treats are "bad". Everything is permissable. I am never going to give you a rule! I am never going to tell you to give up something. I am never going to give you a list of foods you can or cannot have. You have been told no your whole life. (my first diet was given to me at 4 months of age. my mother was told to only give me green vegetables and meats as baby foods because I was too chubby.......helllllloooooo? Can you say MESSED UP!!!)"
Hhhhmmmmmmm..........So let me get this straight. You are telling me that self control and giving up sugar are two separate things?
"Yes".
You are telling me that true self control and discipline is developed in it's truest form in an environment where there are no rules?
"Yes"
You are telling me that if I allow myself anything, but in my heart I truly want to do what is best for my body, I will learn to eat in a healthy way?
"Yes"
Even without any rules?
"Yes"
Without ANY rules?
"Yes"
So the "rule" is there are no rules?
"Yes. How do you feel about that?"
Free........excited......scared.........curious..........
"What are you afraid of?"
That I will eat everything in sight.
"Why would you do that?"
Because that's what I do!!!
"Says who?"
Says me! Says my track record! Says 38 years of dieting and cheating and eating out of control!
"But you had rules then"
So.
"You don't now."
I know! That will make it worse! I have no rules! I will be a mad woman taking fruit snacks out of kids lunches and shoving them in my face!
"Perhaps"
PERHAPS! Is that supposed to make me feel better?! I tell you I am going to run around eating everything in sight and you say PERHAPS!!!
"This is new for you. You have never lived without rules. You will learn. You will learn to allow yourself the freedom you have in me. But you may stumble along the way. But it's okay. It's okay because once you learn how to live healthy without any rules, you will live the life you have always dreamed of living. You will truly be Set Free. Remember, you are not alone. You have help-but you need to seek it and receive it....everyday! Seek the help of the Holy Spirit and you will learn. There is no deadline. This is not a 30 day, 6 week, or 90 day plan. This is life. Your life. The change doesn't come overnight.....but the change does and will come. Do not give up. Do not grow weary. And do not seek out a rule!"
I confess it sounds too good to be true- a life free without rules. I also confess that in the back of my mind I fear I will wake up one morning and the Lord will say "okay now you are ready.....I never want you to eat sugar again". I feel sad at the reality that I can love the Lord so much and say with my whole heart that I trust him...........until food is involved.
I consider deleting the previous confession. My pride tells me that others will think I am crazy. How dare I confess that though I say I trust the Lord I secretly still feel a little leery of this no rule thing. I choose to lay my pride aside as I believe my confession will Set another Fat Girl Free.......(and by fat I mean Fat Thinking)
So here we go.....another piece of the puzzle in place......another step in Setting the Fat Girl Free......deep breath!!!
Galatians 5:22-23 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. there is no law (rule) against these things!
Peace, love, and a rule free day to you all-
Jen
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