Good Morning Girls!  Yesterday I shared with you all the snowball of emotion that I was side swiped out of nowhere by (well actually, if I look at the events leading up to it it wasn't really out of nowhere but we will discuss that another day). 

As I lay there in my bed trying to get a handle on the intense emotions I was wrestling with I was surprised to learn that at that very moment of distress I was learning some things about the Fat Girl trapped inside my mind.  Actually, I learned quite a lot from just one emotional meltdown (which I pray means I won't have to experience more of them!)

I am short on time so I will simply share one of those revelations (because Duluth awaits me......all 32 degrees in Duluth await me!)

Remember how the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart and told me to "be present" in each and every moment of my life?  Remember how he said it is good to have faith and hope in the future but that should not be a form of escape from the present moment we are experiencing?  Remember how I learned that even the most intense and painful emotions and feelings will not overtake me if I simply feel and look at them with an objective "what's going on here" perspective?

Well the rest of my day went by much better than I would've predicted in the midst of my meltdown.  I was a tad bit unfocussed, and I felt a little emotionally hungover, but overall it was good.  I worked at a track meet for 5 hours in the late afternoon (350 6th-8th graders!), and by the time I got home in the evening I was pretty wiped out.

I still had a few things that had to get done before I head out this morning so even though I longed for my sweat pants and book, they would have to wait. 

I wandered into the kitchen, grabbed a bag of chips and sat down at the kitchen table.  I proceeded to eat said bag of chips (without praying of course).  I was surprised when my hand reached the bottom of the bag.  I looked inside the bag (just to make sure) and it was empty.

Hmmm......I remember liking the crunch of these.  I remember trying to pick out the ones that were folded over first they are the BEST).  I remember thinking at one point "why are you eating these you are not hungry and you will feel like crap in the morning "(it was like 9:40).  But I ignored all these thoughts (which looking back they probably weren't even thoughts, they were probably Holy Ghost promptings trying to get me to take notice of what I was doing!)

I ignored everything as I stared out the window exhausted.  I ignored everything until my hand reached the bottom of the bag.  Then I sat there at the table thinking "humph....that's not good".  Then, when I had nothing to distract me the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart again.  This time reminding me of what he had spoke during my emotional meltdown "be present in all things.  In every moment of your life....be present".

Light bulb!  Of course!  I had been sitting there staring out the window, exhausted from my day.  What I really wanted was rest.  However, I looked to food for comfort....for a "break".  I used it to escape into a moment I don't even remember- like a tomato basil potato chip black-out!  The only thing that woke me up was an empty bag! 

Even walking into the kitchen and grabbing the bag of chips was a mindless activity.  I am positive that if I had stopped to give thanks to the Lord I would've felt the "is that what you really want" prompting of the Holy Spirit.  If I had been "present" as I sat down to eat I would have realized that I wasn't even hungry and that I simply wanted a reason to sit down and rest.  If I would have been "present" I would not have eyes so puffy and a mouth so dry this morning.........

But Praise God this Girl is learning!  She may be an old dog (like a cute pug or something) but she can learn new tricks!  I know I have been Set Free- and I am actually starting to feel it!  Praise the Lord!!!!!

1 Thessalonians 5:18  Be thankful (and present) in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus

Love, grace, and a thankful and present day to you all-
Jen