A few weeks ago we had Alumni Day at the office where we all wore something from the high school we graduated from. We also had to turn in a senior picture. We played a game where we tried to match the senior picture to the current staff person. When I turned my photo in the ladies had two responses. The first one was “Oh my goodness! Look at all of that hair!” I was truly a product of the 80’s and my hair barely fit in the picture. The second response was “Except for the hair you look the same. Everyone will recognize you right away.”
“I hope not”, I thought as I walked away. I was not referring to my appearance though. I was referring to the important part of me, the inside of me. The part that I pray is dramatically different from the big haired girl in the photo.
The girl in the photo had a lot of friends and did well in school. She had cute clothes and a cool car. She had a busy social life and a good and stable home life. From all outward appearances she had it all. On the inside however she was a hot mess. She struggled with insecurity. She struggled with depression. She struggled with body image. All these struggles led her to make some very bad choices and decisions as a young adult.
I would like to think I am dramatically different from that insecure big haired girl, but to be honest with you I often find myself revisiting the same issues I have had for years. I think I have just learned how to deal with them (and hide them) a little better. I still struggle with insecurity, am prone to depression, and have to fight daily to make peace with my body. It’s exhausting at times.
The good news is that even though I still struggle from time to time with these same issues, I don’t respond to them the way I once did. I don’t let them control me and I don’t allow them to drive me towards bad decisions (most the time :). In fact, it is often my struggles and weaknesses that provide the most ministering opportunities.
We are told in 2 Corinthians that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. Sometimes we have to receive that truth in faith. The enemy loves to remind us of our past. He especially loves to point out our current mistakes as he whispers things like “Look at you, you will never change. You are still the same old mess you used to be. In fact, you are worse because now you are trying to act like you are different but you are nothing but a phony. If anyone knew the real you they would see that you are still the same insecure out of control girl you have always been. You may as well give up and give in.”
If the father of lies has been telling you that you will never change, that you will never be good enough, or that you are just one mistake away from ever receiving anymore of God’s grace,take some time to meditate on the truth of Gods word that says you are in fact a new creation and your old life is behind you. When God looks at you today He sees you as a new creation. You have been washed clean by the blood of Jesus and you can go boldly before Him at the throne of grace and pour your heart out to Him. You never have to spend another minute feeling as though you are not good enough!
This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone, a new life has begun. 2 Corinthians 5:17
Love, Grace, and a Fresh Start to You All,