The Cone of Shame

While we were in Washington our dog Nana tore her ACL. Of course we did not know this at the time so we let her continue to run and chase squirrels, geese and anything else that caught her eye. By the time we brought her into the vet she had torn her ACL 75% and required surgery. The recovery has been much more than we anticipated and it has been a very stressful few days in our home. Though I try to tell myself and the kids that this is just a temporary deal and not our new norm, the thought of continuing as we have been for seven more weeks feels overwhelming and exhausting.
One of the things that gets me through stressful situations such as this is knowing that there will be a story or two that comes out of it. I feel it’s God’s way of “making all things work together for good” as He promises us in Romans 8:28. Though I much prefer having stories come out of fun experiences, often the ones that speak the most to others are the ones that come from the painful and stressful moments. Perhaps because they are the most relatable for in this life we shall be faced with many troubles.
As expected, Nana was sent home wearing a cone around her neck. Oh how dogs hate the cone. It completely changes their demeanor. Nana went from a happy, wild, proud puppy to a cowering, head down nervous baby. Every dog seems to react to the cone in a similar manner, which is why it is commonly referred to as The Cone of Shame by dog owners.
At first it is entertaining to see them try to navigate around the house with the cone, but after a minute or two when you see how distressing it is to them, you can’t help but feel miserable for them. You want to bring them relief from the misery. Even though it makes life inconvenient as you have to watch them the every minute to make sure they don’t start licking their wounds, you make the sacrifice because you know how desperately they need the relief. As soon as you take off the cone their disposition changes and they once again stand tall with their tails wagging and eyes that say “THANK YOU!”.
I needed a break last night so we put Nana’s cone back on. She immediately began to anxiously freak out. We tried to calm her down but she turned and walked away with her head down and tailed tucked in. It was very painful to watch and I of course caved in and removed the cone even though I knew it meant I would not sleep well that night because I would wake up every time I heard her move to make sure she wasn’t licking her wounds.
As I watched her walk with her head down and tail tucked in my heart broke as I suddenly thought of all the women in the world that walk around wearing their own cone of shame. They wear their mistakes, guilt, and shame around their necks and it chokes them and makes it impossible for them to look around and see the life God has planned for them. They go through life with their head down, trying to go unnoticed because they do not want anyone to see their shame.
The Bible is full of women that could have remained in their personal cones of shame but decided to trust in the LORD and in His words “neither do I condemn or accuse you.” Take Eve for example. She was literally kicked out of paradise as a result of the mistake her and Adam made. She could have wandered around the rest of her life with her head down bearing the shame of paradise lost. However, she understood that God still loved her. We know this because it says in Genesis 4:1 When she gave birth to Cain, she said, “With the LORD’s help, I have produced a man!” She knew it was God who blessed her.
Eve is the first of many scandalous women in the Bible, women that were definitely worthy of cones of shame. We have a woman who tricked her father in law into sleeping with her, a prostitute, and an adulterous- all listed in the genealogy of Jesus! I believe God did this knowing the world would be filled with women broken by their own mistakes and shame. He wanted us to know that there is nothing we can do that would ever disqualify us from not only being loved by Him, but also being used by Him.
Ladies, when Jesus hung on the cross he removed our cones of shame! He sacrificed his life, so that we may live ours to the fullest. To continue walking around with our heads hung down in shame is to say that his sacrifice was not enough and we deserve more punishment.
If you feel choked by all of the mistake sin your life I encourage you to sit at the feet of Jesus. Pour your heart out to Him and let Him remove the cone of shame you have been wearing for far too long. Not only is He willing to do it, he WANTS to do it. You can’t do it alone. No amount of good works will take it off. The only way to lose the cone is to let your Abba Father remove it. Will you sit still long enough to let him?

“Fear not; you will no longer live in shame. Don’t be afraid; there is no more disgrace for you. You will no longer remember the shame of your youth and the sorrows of your widowhood. For your Creator will be your husband; the Lord of Heaven’s Armies is his name! He is your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel, the God of all the earth.” Isaiah 54:4-5

Love, Grace, and Freedom from the Cone of Shame to You All,

Jen

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She Was Convinced

We are kicking off our “Women of the Bible” series by taking a look at Eve. The story of Adam and Eve is one of those stories that most people, both Christian and non, are somewhat familiar with. Though many may not understand the truth and relevance of the story, they have heard the basic concept- Adam and Eve naked in a garden, Eve is tempted by serpent, eats apple, and after that they are hiding behind bushes. For those of us who live a life a faith, we know there is so much more.

We know that the world we live in is not the world God desired for us to live in. We know that had it not been for that one act of disobedience, we would be living in perfect harmony not only with each other, but with the animals and the environment. We know that we wouldn’t always be running frantically to and fro trying to fit 36 hours of work into a 24 hour day. And we know that we would not experience pain, loss, suffering, and death.

The Good News is we also know that this is a temporary situation. We know that one day things will be restored and we will experience the world God desired us to live in. We know that we will see the people we miss and that every tear will be wiped away by Jesus himself. And though these truths bring us comfort and peace there are still days when I say “seriously Eve, what were you thinking?”

Think about it. Prior to the fall, Eve was content walking around naked! That alone is a world I cannot even fathom. I don’t even like walking around in a swimsuit or shorts let alone be naked. And I must say I find relief in knowing that we are given white robes of righteousness in heaven because the thought of being naked just may keep me out.

All joking aside, have you ever wondered why Eve did it? Why would the woman who has everything, even the gift of walking and talking to God himself, risk it all? Though it may seem easy to judge and question her, the same is true for many of us today. We buy the same lie that Eve did. We believe there is something more out there and if we have whatever that something is, we will be happier.

We are bombarded with a million “somethings” every day. It says in Genesis 3:6 that “Eve saw that the the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom the serpent told her it would give her.” I don’t know about you but to me it sounds like most of the magazines, commercials, and Facebook posts we take in every day. We are presented with something beautiful and perfect and told if we buy this product we will be beautiful and perfect also and then we will be happy. We are solicited to join a dating site filled with handsome, adventurous men that will listen intently to our hopes and dreams while going to the mall with us and our new lives with these new men will be perfect. We see friends and family going on perfect vacations, buying new perfect cars, and building big perfect houses, and we look around at our stained carpet and old car and decide to bite the financial debt fruit.

It’s easy to see that Eve, like us, bought the lie. She was convinced there was something more. She was convinced that God was holding out on her. She kept looking at the one thing she didn’t have until she finally couldn’t take it any longer and just had to have it no matter what. And once she had it, just like us, she was not only disappointed, but now for the first time experienced shame and guilt.

So the short answer of why Eve ate the fruit is that she bought the lie. What I want to look at next is how she bought the lie. What made her more vulnerable than Adam? I have an answer based on something I noticed for the first time yesterday. You have another day or two to read the chapters and see if you come up with an answer also 🙂

For those of you who may be feeling like you are not enough, especially in your marriage, take today’s verse as a little kiss on the forehead from God

Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him” Genesis 2:18

Love, Grace, and No More Lies To You All,

Jen

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All About Eve

For the first time in the eighteen years that I have been going to the cabin in Washington I had not one, but two girlfriends come visit. It was so much fun that from now on it is the only way this chick is going to roll 🙂

One night my girlfriend and I were sitting on the bed chatting about different Bible studies and good books to read. We were both setting some personal goals, and we wanted to include a spiritual growth goal. She showed me one of the books she had bought titled Women of the Bible. She hadn’t read it yet so she started looking through it.

The book was divided into chapters discussing different categories of biblical women. For example, women that endured severe hardship, women that made history in a man’s world, etc. She would give me the category and I would try to guess the women listed for each chapter. It was actually really fun. Am I a nerd?

I was surprised by a couple things. First of all there were women that were not listed in areas I thought they should be listed in (does that shock any of you), and I had never even heard of a few of the women. Not knowing who these women were peaked my curiosity. How could I have never heard of them or remembered them?

So I have decided to do my own little “women of the Bible” study. Who better to start with than our girl Eve? You may think you know all there is to know about Eve, but when I read Genesis Chapter 2 and 3 this morning I saw things I had never noticed before. We won’t cover all there is to say about Eve- entire books have been written on Eve. I just want to highlight a few things that stand out to me as I study. I would love it if you wanted to study with me :).

Tonight I simply want to share with you the chapters that discuss Eve so you can have a chance to read for yourself if you choose. Genesis 2:8-4:1 will give you a good context of the things we will discuss over the next few blogs. Please bear with me as I adjust to the new work schedule. I am hoping to post Monday-Friday but it may take me a week or two to get there.

I always want to leave you with a verse and since it is bedtime I will give you one that I say to my kiddos and to myself when my mind is racing at night.

When you lie down, you will not be afraid; Yes, you will lie down and your sleep will be sweet. Proverbs 3:24

Love, Grace, and a Sweet Sleep Night to You All,

Jen

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